‘All Shoplifter Will Be Executed’: The Instagrammer Who Does Hilarious Dramatic Readings of Bad Signs

Much like Sofia Coppola’s 2003 film, sometimes things get lost in translation. A lot of the time, this comes in the form of an American with a well-intentioned but poorly translated tattoo. Take pop star Ariana Grande, for example. She wanted to get some ink to commemorate her chart-topping single “7 rings,” only to find out that the Japanese tattoo actually read “shichirin,” which is a Japanese charcoal grill. 

But us Americans aren’t the only ones who get translations wrong. It’s a worldwide phenomenon, and something that Jason Gaston has taken a great (and hilarious) interest in. The teacher and self-proclaimed “low tier niche internet celebrity” has nearly 235,000 followers on Instagram, where he provides dramatic readings of this mixed bag of bad signs. Some are poorly translated, while others are literally translated with gravely different connotations than intended. And then there are those that make so little sense that they become oddly poetic. 

Here are just a few of the many he’s come across in his internet travels…

“Human being enter the cage of the Fox. All is a self-responsibility.” 

“Fun going out with you. Get used to happiness. To have this bag. This bag to my companion.” 

“Is a difference understood? When seeing an upper tooth, it’s afraid. When not seeing an upper tooth it’s a angry.”

“just take the first step. staircase to see the whole you don’t have” — Martin Luther King

“Thank you for loving me as you own”

“Make moments. Became memories.”

“UPDATE! Baby has been found safe & she has been arrested.”

“For utilizing the toilet it’s mandatory to consume in the bar or you must pay €1 per person!!”

“All shoplifter will be executed.” 

“We close today for some reason.”

“This freezer is out of control.”

“Washing machines is not sorry for inconvenience.”