Greg Gutfeld Is Apparently Pro-Grooming — As Long As It’s Not Gay

Greg Gutfeld Is Apparently Pro-Grooming — As Long As It’s Not Gay

Greg Gutfeld, the king of conservative comedy, has had a huge month. On May 2nd, he became the only late-night host to cross the picket line during the WGA writers strike. This past Friday, Gutfeld became one of only two late-night hosts allowed in the belligerent state of Russia. Then, on Monday, Gutfeld became the only late-night host in all of television to become a living, unironic South Park joke.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

Gutfeld, like many of his Fox News colleagues, has made a point to call gay activists and drag queens “groomers” in recent months. Gultfeld has voiced support for so-called “Don’t Say Gay” bills, and he continues to parrot right-wing talking points that claim that the act of acknowledging the existence of LGBTQ+ people in an educational setting is tantamount to pedophilia and poses a larger threat to America’s schoolchildren than mass shootings and climate change combined. However, on Monday’s episode of his eponymous show, Gutfeld make a small caveat to his anti-pedophilia stance — it’s okay when the rapist is a chick.

Last week in San Bernardino County, California, 38-year-old high school teacher Tracy Vanderhulst was arrested for statutory rape after police discovered that she had engaged in an unlawful sexual relationship with a 16-year-old student. The San Bernardino Police Department has stated that “there may be additional victims” and urged anyone with more information about Vanderhulst’s crimes to come forward. 

Gutfield, meanwhile, has put out his own official statement — “Nice.”

“I’m sorry, come on! Sixteen years old? I would have died for that!” Gutfeld exclaimed while discussing the story on Monday’s show. When co-host Katherine Timpf pushed back on Gutfeld’s reaction to literal rape, he doubled down. “A 16-year-old boy with a hot teacher,” said Gutfeld. “I mean, what was the Van Halen Song? ‘Hot For Teacher,’ that was written about this. It wasn’t about, ‘Hey, let’s have a responsible relationship with someone close to my age.’”

Gutfeld went even further in expressing his joy at the sex crime, asking, “Am I right to say that it is an unfair comparison to do the female to male teacher? Like a male teacher, 38-year-old — creepy. Female — heroic.”

I’m not going to bother asking Gutfeld how many other members of the sex-offender registry would he call heroes. It’s absurd that this needs saying, but in case any Fox News-watchers need a lesson in basic morality, adults — especially adults in positions of power — shouldn’t have sex with minors. For all the pear-clutching and hysteria-pushing Gutfeld has done in order to protect kids from the existence of queer people, you’d think that he’d have a slightly more mature reaction to an actual, literal, not-Fox-fabricated instance of “grooming.”

This tired trope of braindead men reacting to the rape of minors with some “joke” along the lines of “I wish I was molested” stopped being funny well before South Park perfectly satirized the “pedophilia is okay when it’s a woman doing it to a boy” mindset all the way back in 2006. However, the fact that Gutfeld’s pro-grooming jokes are two-decades-too late makes them perfect crowd pleasers for his target audience.

Scroll down for the next article


Forgot Password?