The Most Regrettable ‘Rick and Morty’ Fan Creations
In light of recent revelations about Rick and Morty co-creator Justin Roiland, let’s remember that most of the work in this show is done by upstanding citizens of various genders who don’t allegedly beat their partners or send creepy and weirdly desperate private messages to teenagers. A talented group of writers, directors, storyboarders and more put tremendous amounts of effort into crafting a high-quality show for their audience — only for that audience to turn around and crap out some of the most terrible (in more than one sense) fan creations known to man.
There’s just something about Rick and Morty that inspires particularly deranged unsanctioned works, like...
The Depressingly Popular ‘Rick and Morty’ Porno Game
If you’ve ever looked up “Rick and Morty” on YouTube or other, less SFW video sites, the algorithm has probably tried to nudge you toward something called Rick and Morty: A Way Back Home which, at first glance, looks like it could be an official product. It is decidedly not.
A Way Back Home is a Japanese-style dating game in which Rick decides to help Morty (who is explicitly said to be 18 at the start of the game, for reasons that will soon become obvious) to be more confident. To that end, Rick strands Morty in another universe and makes it so the only way to get back home is to fill up his “confidence meter.” And how does he do that? By awkwardly seducing alternate-reality versions of everyone in the show, including himself. Or herself, in this case.
And yes, we do mean everyone. From what we can gather through the heavily censored gameplay footage on YouTube, one sequence seems to involve the alternate reality version of Beth getting stuck in a washing machine and asking Morty for help. If you’ve been on the internet for longer than five minutes, you can guess what happens next.
The most disturbing part of all this? The fact that the videos for this game have hundreds of thousands of views and endless comments asking for more. Perhaps Left-Handed Morty's wish did end up coming true.
Pickle Rick ASMR Videos (Yes, Plural)
You probably won’t be too shocked to learn that there are a ton of videos consisting of nothing but women slowly eating pickles or pickle-shaped food with Rick’s face painted on them while whispering into oversized microphones — for many, this is precisely what the internet was created for.
What you might not realize is that some people have taken this beautiful, natural phenomenon too far by becoming Pickle Rick. As in, they dress up like giant pickles and make strange noises while playing with their, uh, smaller pickles. At least this one doesn’t indulge in any acts of pickle cannibalism, as far as we saw.
This other one just flutters his gross Pickle Rick fingers (claws?) at the camera for 31 minutes while speaking at an uncharacteristically low volume for a supposed Rick variant. An accurate ASMRick video would be entirely made out of burping sounds. There’s a reality in this vast multiverse where this is porn to someone, and that reality is this one.
As a reminder, Rick turned only himself into a pickle in order to escape going to a much-needed therapy session. We’re not experts, but perhaps there’s something similar going on here.
The Musical.ly ‘Rick and Morty’ Cosplay Subculture
Musical.ly was a social media platform that eventually merged into TikTok but had two key differences from its successor: 1) It was solely devoted to lip-sync videos; and 2) it had way more videos of teenagers inexplicably dressed as Rick and Morty while miming pop songs or dialogue from shows that aren’t Rick and Morty.
This is like something Ice-T would talk about in Law & Order: “They’re callin’ it Rick and Morty-ing. Teen girls pretending to be drunken old men or anxious little boys for social clout. They’re terrorizing the city.” Some of the videos do recreate scenes from Rick and Morty, but they aren’t any less baffling. Are Rick and Morty supposed to be zombies or nu-metal band members in this one? Either way: Why?
To be fair, this was in 2014-2017, and most of these teens probably grew up to be well-adjusted adults who use social media for normal things, like rapping Soulja Boy’s “Rick and Morty” at President Woodrow Wilson (at the grave of someone else surnamed Wilson).
An Insanely Expensive Customized ‘Rick and Morty’ Rolex
Do you have obscene amounts of money and need to make it clear that your IQ is high enough to understand Rick and Morty? What better way to prove it than by paying tens of thousands of dollars for a luxury watch engraved with depictions of Rick, Morty, Snuffles, Mr. Poopybutthole, and, yes, even Pickle Rick?
This was created by a New York-based ”contemporary bespoke engraving house” called Fin Des Temps, which is appropriate because it could have only come into existence during the end of times. We don’t have an exact price tag for this classy piece, but for reference, regular Rolex Milgauss watches without cartoon characters on them cost around $10,000, and another Fin Des Temps custom job on the same brand went for $36,000.
If you still have money after that, why not spend a mere $340 more on a pair of custom contact lenses that make you look like you’re drawn in Rick and Morty’s art style? Might as well finish tanking your social life.
Unlicensed ‘Rick and Morty’ Sex Toys
Like the watch above, something tells us these products weren’t officially licensed by Rick and Morty’s corporate overlords, so we’re gonna go ahead and classify them as fan creations. Anyway, to answer the question that unwittingly formed in your head as soon as you clicked on this article: Yes, there are Pickle Rick dildos for all size preferences. But there’s also much more.
Aside from offering a 7.5-inch silicone “Pickle Dick” for $69 (nice), the same store also sells (or sold; they seem to be sold out) a “Mr. Meesex” one for the same price, a $135 Fleshlight based on the regular household plumbus we all keep in our kitchens and a butt plug styled after Mr. Poopybutthole, which, admittedly, does sound like something Warner Bros. should have signed off on by now — because come on, that’s money on the table.
If you’re ashamed to have a butt plug in your home, good news: You can get a double-purpose model that you can proudly display as a Rick and Morty bong from an Etsy shop called GlowFyourself. As a commenter on Reddit put it, “That’s just fiscal responsibility.”