The Absolute Worst Stuff Michael Did to Toby on ‘The Office’

How did Dunder Mifflin allow this to go on for so long?
The Absolute Worst Stuff Michael Did to Toby on ‘The Office’

As we’ve previously established, Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch is a toxic cesspool of workplace harassment — and, really, it’s no wonder considering that the longtime manager of said office, Michael Scott, was unrelentingly cruel to his HR rep Toby Flenderson for basically no reason. 

Sure, Toby was the worst and, in all likelihood, was secretly a cold-blooded serial killer, but still, Toby took a lot of abuse from Michael over the years. In addition to the constant insults and sniping about the poor guy’s failed marriage, there was…

Goodbye, Toby

When Toby decides to pack it in and move to Costa Rica, Michael celebrates by belting out an altered version of “Goodbye Stranger” at his going-away party — which is both unnecessarily cruel and, weirdly, kind of an improvement on the Supertramp original.

The Suck On This Rock

Also, during Toby’s farewell, Michael gives him a beautifully decorated gift, wrapped in gold paper that… turns out to be a rock with a sticky note reading: “Suck on this!”

Slamming Him into the Ice Rink Boards

Everyone in the office is forced to go ice skating to celebrate Michael’s birthday, who, for some reason, shows up in full hockey gear. At one point, Michael checks Toby into the boards as if he were a common Philadelphia Flyer, despite the fact that he’s not wearing any pads or even a helmet. Not cool.

Framing Him With A Salad

When Toby returns to Scranton, Michael immediately tries to get him fired through an elaborate plan that involves planting a bag of pot in his desk and calling the cops. Of course, lacking any actual access to recreational drugs, Michael’s frame-up scheme instead utilizes a bag of Caprese salad. 

Casually Knocking His Lunch Off the Table

When Michael is forced to testify in Jan’s lawsuit against Dunder Mifflin, he’s accompanied by Toby. During a lunch break, Toby attempts to make Michael feel better (why, Toby?) by sharing his own past trauma involving his parents’ divorce. Michael responds by knocking Toby’s tray of food off the table and walking away.

Blowing Up His Head Multiple Times in ‘Threat Level Midnight’

When Michael finally screens his long-gestating homemade action movie Threat Level Midnight, the “most expensive shot in the movie” comes when Toby’s character gets shot in the head — which inexplicably explodes like a piñata made by David Cronenberg. The brief moment is repeatedly shown several times for good measure.

Which feels like a callback to the time Michael told the office: “If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”

Jeez, you’d think the HR guy could do something about that…

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter (if it still exists by the time you’re reading this). 

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