13 of the Best Jokes from This Week 12/17/22
Ah, we’ve reached the end of another crazy week. The richest man in the world did the worst guest spot in stand-up comedy history and bombed so hard that it may have contributed to him being named the second richest man in the world the very next day. The World Cup wraps up this week, so Americans can go right back to not caring about soccer. And our former president, ever the financial genius, launched his own line of NFTs mere days after the crypto market crashed.
To be honest, like most of the recent past, it was all pretty intolerable, so take your mind off of things with some of the funniest jokes we found along the way…
@glubokiy_boy
Stephen Colbert
“It was announced today that after decades of thinking otherwise, surprise! Snakes have clitorises. Reached for comment, female snakes said, ‘Yessssssssss.’
“Researchers thought the organ didn’t exist, in fact, CBS News reports it took more than a century, but scientists finally found it. That’s a long time coming… or not, if you’re a female snake. And the news is extra exciting because it turns out snakes have two individual clitorises — hemiclitores — separated by tissue and hidden by skin on the underside of the tail. So, snakes went from having no clitoris to having two? Bonus! That’s like reaching into the pocket of a jacket you haven’t worn in a while, and finding two clitorises.”
@GianmarcoSoresi
@kennybeats
Seth Meyers
“According to new research, taking the erectile dysfunction drug Viagra can decrease the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease, which is great, because there’s nothing worse than getting an erection and forgetting why.”
@salgentile
@BrandonComedy
@pattonoswalt
Jimmy Fallon
“According to a poll, one-third of Americans start buying holiday gifts two months in advance. That’s risky ‘cause a lot can happen in two months. It’s like, ‘Here’s that Kanye sweatshirt you wanted.’”
@jonlovett
Colin Jost
“A woman in Texas allegedly dumped three buckets of human waste in front of a police department and drove away. It‘s a rare case of erratic behavior from a lady who poops in a bucket. Also, I‘d like to point out that, as disturbing as this story is, it‘s not as disturbing as imagining the woman‘s drive to the police station with full buckets of feces, because one speed bump turns her car into a Starbucks bathroom.”
