The Most Hilarious Deaths in the ‘Final Destination’ Franchise, Ranked
The Final Destination movies have taught us so many valuable life lessons. There’s the one about always trying one’s utmost best to avoid driving behind a log truck. Or the one that emphatically warns you to never insult a Buddha. And please, ladies, for the love of God, just stay away from those tanning beds — lest you want to end up getting fried to a crisp in a UV coffin that had somehow burst into flames.
Yes, these movies are completely and utterly nuts, but in the most entertaining way this side of comedy that also features a lot of gore. Just, SO. MUCH. GORE. It goes to show, however, that you can totally get away with decapitations and a bad case of getting cut in half, as long as you pair it with slapstick.
Here, then, are the most over-the-top, slapstick deaths in the Final Destination movies, ranked…
Oh Look, Pigeons!, Final Destination 2
The first Final Destination movie was, by far, the most serious of the lot as it featured only two truly bonkers deaths while the rest weren’t really played for laughs. The filmmakers were fast learners, though, as they clearly realized that the people wanted the funny.
The sequel had more of these hilarious diabolical moments, with this specific sequence setting the standard for so many to follow. The set-up is simple: Kid goes to the dentist, where everyone knows in their heart of hearts that everything can go wrong. At one point, the kid almost chokes on some rubbery toy that Death made fall into his mouth because the Sickle Guy is apparently the biggest jokester of them all.
Of course, all our expectations are soon subverted when the kid finally gets crushed by a falling windowpane because he couldn’t leave those darn birds alone.
The Twofer, Final Destination 2
Keeping with the sequel here, the second film really showed us how they managed to up the ante and give the new movie a couple of fresh twists. Like this one, that sees not one but two hilarious deaths, back to back, proving that everyone in this movie should’ve just stayed the heck out of and away from cars.
Hit By A Bus, Final Destination
It’s the first funny death gag scene of the first film, and it’s also the scene that featured Nine Inch Nails singing about “the final destination” because there’s nothing subtle about these movies. It’s a classic, and at the time, that bus really did come out of nowhere.
‘F**k Death!,’ Final Destination 3
While the third movie is considered by many to be the weakest of the lot — probably because the characters are a bit “eh” and the entire opening premonition takes almost half an hour to wrap — this particular Death’s Revenge is a hoot. Not only is this gym filled with the most absurdly aggressive football players in the history of sports on-screen, but it builds up quite brilliantly to the perfect line that ends up being one poor sod’s final words.
Don’t Throw Your Food Out The Window, Kids!, Final Destination 2
In many ways, this sequence felt like a copy of the first movie’s first death, only funnier (since it didn’t resemble a freaking suicide). It was more contrived than the kid who ended up getting killed outside the dentist office, but still pretty fun to watch — especially since this guy does all the wrong things he could possibly do. Oh yeah, there’s another lesson here: Never win the lottery, folks.
The Entire Opening Premonition, Final Destination 5
While these characters eventually die in different ways, we still get to see their OG deaths before some psychic guy went and ruined Death’s plan. The fifth and final movie (so far) opened with a bang, and saw people getting impaled, someone in the water getting crushed by a car, another‘s eye moving all the way down to their cheek and a head splat that might be one of the best split-second moments in the franchise, to date.
The Entire Opening Premonition (And Immediate Aftermath), The Final Destination
Following the lukewarm third installment, the fourth entry in this franchise where Death just won’t quit went back to its fun self and gave us an auto race gone terribly wrong in its opening act. There’s a decapitation by car tire, a bad case of two people getting sliced in half, death by an entire car engine and, of course, your run-of-the-mill impalements. This franchise sure has its favorites.
The kicker with this opening (just like the second movie) is that the first “revenge death” occurs almost immediately, and it’s a doozy.
The Ending, Final Destination
There’s no denying that the holler ending of the first movie was the perfect gag to set up the franchise and its cheesy dark humor. It’s an ending that also subverted the already subverted, as we were all surprised to see douchey jock boy somehow make it to the end… until he didn’t. Rolling the credits on this note was genius, because it clearly paved the way for sequels with the whole “Oh sh*t, this isn’t over” moment where no one knew who was next anymore. From there, every sequel tried to theorize their way out of Death‘s diabolical revenge plot, to absolutely no success whatsoever.
Swimming Pool, The Final Destination
Because a guy getting his butt, nuts and insides sucked out by a swimming pool’s drain pipe is the kind of OTT gore that will always stand out. It was pretty obvious that this numbnuts who gets off on bullying little kids wasn’t going to cheat Death. It’s hilarious that this was the way he ended up going — reduced to nothing but blood and guts at a public swimming pool.
The Gymnast, Final Destination 5
Yes, it’s the famous gym routine gone wrong in the history of cinema — probably because we all know how dangerous those gymnast stunts can be in real life. Was it the best, most elaborated set-up? Nope. Was it tight? Come on, how did not one of those girls see that very clear screw on that balance beam? None of this matters, though, because the fact that it really just took a bag of chalk to cause that gymnast to break her body in such a spectacular fashion was the underwhelming kicker in this overwhelmingly hilarious ending.
A solid 9.5.
Zanandi is, regrettably, still on Twitter.