15 Classic Movies That Are Actually Ripe For A Reboot

Sometimes, updating stories actually strengthens them.
15 Classic Movies That Are Actually Ripe For A Reboot

The recent release of Confess, Fletch, starring Jon Hamm as Fletch has us really excited. Hamm's a great actor and Fletch is a fun character who could've had a whole film franchise, so we're glad Hollywood's trying again. Since we live in an era of endless reboots and love nothing more than saying “but what about this” to people who make movies, here are some stories we'd love to see retold:

First Blood

John Rambo

Wikimedia Commons: Yoni S. Hamenahem

It is an indisputable fact that the United States of America treats its military veterans terribly. Our greatest example of this showing up in pop culture, John Rambo, got one serious movie before becoming a history-rewriting cartoon character. After the ravages of the Afghanistan and Iraq wars—frivolous excursions in the service of capitalism that did not warrant the human cost, much like the Vietnam War—maybe it's time for Rambo to get a 21st century upgrade. Not The Punisher, though. He needs a break.

Trading Places

We love The Big Short and The Wolf of Wall Street, but the fact that post-2008 anger at Wall Street hasn't produced more comedies like Trading Places is a major indictment of our culture at large. 

Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

Wikimedia Commons: Abhijit Shylanath

If Lord Of The Rings can get the Prestige TV treatment barely two decades after a definitive film adaptation, so can this far superior work of British speculative fiction. If Martin Freeman, Zooey Deschanel, Mos Def, and Sam Rockwell are down to reprise their 2005 roles for six seasons and a movie to ensure we cover all five books in the trilogy, we're down to watch them. 

You've Got Mail

Speaking of probably-impossible-to-duplicate chemistry: Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, huh? This movie still holds up as is (nearly every movie on this list does), but it's darkly funny that Hanks's Fox Books is a Barnes and Noble stand-in when Amazon has done to B&N what B&N did to bookstores like The Shop Around The Corner. Maybe the couple in the reboot ends up unionizing their local Amazon distribution center

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Bette Davis and Joan Crawford

Warner Bros. 

We'd like to think a post-Britney Spears Conservatorship America might have something to say in reflection of how it treats child stars, and we would like a reboot of this Bette Davis and Joan Crawford thriller as a means to say it. 

Enemy Of The State

Watching this Will Smith and cranky ol' Gene Hackman thriller in a post-Patriot Act world is a wild ride. We're willing to bet both Hackman's character and Hackman IRL are just thrilled about being right about everything. Anyway, update this for the 30th anniversary in six years and watch the entirety of both Gen X and Millennials crumble into a fine dust.

Ancient Egypt/Old Testament Epics (But With Middle Eastern Actors This Time)

Ridley Scott

Wikimedia Commons: Gage Skidmore

Not this time, buddy

The genre name “Sword and Sandal” should sell itself. Understand: The Bible, as a narrative text, is nuts. Let Brad Neely tell you about Lot's wife if you don't believe us. And honestly, how different is YHWH and Baal squabbling from Poseidon bullying Odysseus? They tried to give us cool Sword and Sandal epics recently, but Ridley Scott is afraid of brown people, and the results were boring.

Lords of Dogtown

Lords of Dogtown

Columbia Pictures

First of all, give us more skateboard movies. Second, give us a movie exploring the generation raised on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1+2. Like Tony Hawk said, the Dogtown generation is now Skate Dads. Give us a movie about the scenes that Nyjah Huston, Leticia Bufoni, and Aori Nishimura grew up in. 

Chris Corlew went and played Tony Hawk after writing this. Find him on Twitter.

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