Currently, Jurassic World: Dominion is making tons of money at the box office, and thrilling fans of … genetically-engineered super-locusts? That wasn’t a dream? Anyway, obviously a major selling point of the movie is that it reunites the three stars of the original Jurassic Park; Sam Neil, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum, as Alan Grant, Ellie Sattler, and Ian Malcolm, respectively – sadly, the CGI ghost of Dennis Nedry was presumably left on the cutting room floor. 

Weirdly, despite the fact that literal decades have elapsed since Jurassic Park, all of these characters are dressed exactly the same as they were in 1993. Sure, we can buy that Ian Malcolm has steadfastly committed himself to a life lived entirely encased in black leather at all times. 

Universal

And we can even accept that Grant just really likes blue denim shirts – but would Ellie Sattler really still be wearing that pink button-up shirt, tied in a knot and with a blue tank top underneath? Really? 30 years later, and she’s still wearing that specific ensemble?

Universal

Universal

This isn’t her uniform or anything; in the world of the movie, this is probably just some stuff she bought at The Gap one day back when Hootie and The Blowfish were topping the charts. This is somewhat reminiscent of how Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker tried to tether itself to the continuity of Solo by having Billy Dee Williams don a very similar shirt to the one worn by  Donald Glover’s young Lando Calrissian.

Sure it’s a cool shirt, but unless they’re going through some kind of emotional crisis, who in their late 70s is dressing like how they did back when they were in their early 30s? This has happened in TV too; the recent Will & Grace reboot found the characters wearing the same outfits 20 years later as if they were cartoon characters.

In the case of Jurassic World: Dominion, this is arguably a symptom of a larger problem with how the movie views these characters; as symbolic totems of nostalgia that can be trotted out like props in order to jerry-rig a semblance of emotional attachment to this bloated franchise – rather than nuanced personalities who may have expanded beyond who they were 30 years ago, or at the very least, how they dressed.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter

Top Image: Universal

Join the Cracked Movie Club

Expand your movie and TV brain--get the weekly Cracked Movie Club newsletter!

Tags

Forgot Password?