Hey, we all like The Office, we all like Seinfeld, but sometimes there is merch that crosses the line from fun desk knick-knack, to “what are you doing with your money?” Keep your wallets closed and your purses clutched, as we dive into 15 items no Seinfeld or The Office fan really needs.

Seinfeld Coffee Beans

Seinfeld Coffee

BeanBox

Seinfeld Coffee Beans. “Finally!” screams the most annoying person you know at work. BeanBoxed has worked tirelessly to bring a collection of Seinfeld-themed coffee beans, breaking technological barriers along the way. For $28 dollars on BeanBoxed you get Jerry’s Diner Blend, Kramer’s Giddy Up, George’s Serenity Now, and Elaine’s Little Kicks. A coffee that after every sip will make you say “Hey guys, did you know I’m drinking Seinfeld coffee right now?”

Jerry’s Apartment Candle

Jerry's Apartment Candle

Etsy: Spacehouseofoddities

We all know Jerry is a clean freak, so now we can finally have our apartments smell the same! The candle isn’t “Apartment” scented, sadly. The scents include smoked vanilla, amber, and serenity now. The reviews are great for these candles, but I doubt anyone is going to walk in and say “It smells like Seinfeld in here.”

Michael Light Switch Cover

Michael Scott light Switch

Etsy: Phoenixappeal

Alright, this is pretty funny at first glance. Definitely not in the “bad idea” camp, but more so in the “funny the first time you see it, but now it’s just kind of there” camp. Just make sure you rewatch the sexual harassment episode after using this light switch cover.

Seinfeld Funko Pop Electrical Outlet Stickers

Seinfeld Outlet Covers

Etsy: Electricsticker

Display your favorite faceless Seinfeld Funko Pop collection with these stickers. They are recreations of Seinfeld characters, with the face taken out, so that all of your guests will exclaim “Who is that supposed to be?”

Wagon Wheel Elaine

Wagon Wheel Elaine

Etsy: DoodlesnNoodlesPR

You’ve heard of Fusilli Jerry, now strap in for “Wagon Wheel Elaine.” Squint your eyes as you search the screen for her inclusion in the pasta incarnation. Become the owner of the most obscure piece of Seinfeld merch in existence, that will prompt your friends to say “why do you have a punch of wagon wheel pasta glued together.”

Dunder Mifflin Paper

Dunder Mifflin paper

Dundermifflinpaper.com

You are truly paying for the packaging on this one. You could own your very own ream of Dunder Mifflin paper if you wish. Buy it, never open it, stare at it, play catch with it, sit on it if you’re short, the possibilities are endless!

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Top Image: Dundermifflinpaper.com

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