Every now and then, it’s worth stopping to marvel at what a weird, gross thing the human body is. Truly, a disgusting meat sack full of bones and electricity that can turn on you at any moment. To fully absorb just what a bag of nightmares you are, though, you would never get anything else done, so let’s just focus on the wildest ways your body mocks you on a daily basis.

Kids Grow Faster in Spring

Child height chart


Just like the little weeds they are, kids grow faster in the spring and summer, by an average of about two inches more than they do in winter. It’s not clear why -- it could relate to the length of the days, sun exposure, rates of infectious disease, or because you’re back-to-school shopping at the end of summer anyway and the universe wants to take it easy on you.

Your Brain Edits Your Senses

At any given moment, your brain is being bombarded with sensory information, so it’s always frantically throwing out what it doesn’t need like some kind of Marie Kondo–obsessed robot. Usually, it’s because a sensation hasn’t changed for some time, because the important stuff -- like a jaguar leaping at your face -- will be moving. In a mechanism called sensory adaptation, it just removes that boring stuff from your perception, which is why, for example, you’ll eventually stop hearing a ceiling fan and usually don’t see your own nose.

Your Lungs Are Hairy

As if that wasn’t gross enough, the hair moves, sweeping out debris in a manner that is ultimately helpful, if no less unsettling. That’s why smokers cough: The hairs, called cilia, are temporarily paralyzed by the chemicals in cigarette smoke.


One of the human body’s biggest pranks against its prisoners is the teratoma, a tumor that can grow hair, teeth, and even eyes. They can pop up for a number of reasons, they can kill you (with cancer, not, like, a knife, although we wouldn’t put it past them) or not, but more than anything, they are proof that God has forgotten us.

You’re (Sometimes) More Bacteria Than Person



By number of cells, your body contains about as much bacteria as it does human cells, close enough that a single dump can tip the scales back toward person. On a particularly constipated day, though, you’re not so much your own planet as a tract of land hosting a thriving population. In that respect, are you really “you”? Sleep tight!

Top image: Brooke Cagle/Unsplash

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