Steven Spielberg’s Hook boldly asks the question: what if Peter Pan grew up to be a giant tool? While it was a big hit at the time, these days the ‘90s fantasy is mostly remembered as the movie that introduced fan-favorite Rufio, only to have him get brutally stabbed to death like eight minutes before the end credits rolled.

But Hook is a deeply disturbing story when you think about it – and no, we’re not talking about the fact that Neverland clearly has its own peep show and/or brothel (we’re not here to vilify Neverland's sex workers, nor the grizzled pirates who frequent their establishment).

We’re actually talking about Peter’s relationship with “Granny Wendy,” which, as others have alluded to in the past, is weird as hell. Wendy is his wife Moira’s biological grandmother and the woman who took him in and arranged for his adoption. But Peter doesn’t retain any memories of his life in Neverland, so even after his kids are abducted by someone literally named “Captain James Hook” amazingly Peter still doesn’t remember that he’s Peter Pan. 

Peter only learns of his true identity from Wendy – at which point, things take a turn …

TriStar Pictures

Yeah, this discussion also includes the icky revelation that Peter’s elderly relative is really his ex-girlfriend. Wendy even confesses that she was hoping that her immortal 13-year-old boyfriend would have shown up to break up her wedding. But, again, Peter forgot all about this because … magic? 

TriStar Pictures

TriStar Pictures

Also, presumably some serious repression.

After hearing that he used to date his grandmother-in-law, who was apparently trapped in a loveless marriage following their break-up, somehow Peter doesn’t spend the rest of the movie curled up in a ball on the floor of a dark room. Even once he regains his memories and returns home, everyone is still thrilled about this whole arrangement – even Moira who now has to live with the knowledge that her beloved Granny and her husband totally had the hots for each other.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter

Top Image: TriStar Pictures

Join the Cracked Movie Club

Expand your movie and TV brain--get the weekly Cracked Movie Club newsletter!

Tags

Forgot Password?