It’s common knowledge that the rich and famous live such vastly different lives from the rest of us that, whenever we receive some mind-bending inside info like the contents of these Oscar goodie bags, it almost feels like a glimpse into an alternate universe. One where Benedict Cumberbatch will now be called “Lord Cumberbatch” because all the actor nominees from the 94th Academy Awards received “Lord” and “Lady” titles as well as literally a piece of Scotland.

Andrew Garfield, Spider-Man

Gerald Geronimo/Wikimedia Commons

That’s right. It’s “Lord Spider-Man” from now on.

The plot of land bequeathed to the recipients of this year’s Oscar gift bags is more “Supporting Wilderness Conservation” and less “Let’s Go Ghost Hunting In My New Scottish Castle.” For that, lucky Bag-Getters received a $50,000 three-night stay at the 17th century Turin Castle in Scotland where they can enjoy having a butler and also a guy playing some bagpipes. Even rich people should experience cognitive dissonance every once in a while.

These sought-after and somewhat bizarre gift bags — created by L.A.-based marketing company Distinctive Assets every year — are wildly popular among Hollywood stars, with those living abroad making special arrangements to have theirs shipped to them. After all, who would want to lose out on $10,000 worth of plastic surgery treatments, $1,200 for some life coach lessons valued at $700 a pop from a “holistic expert” who really just looks like every other Instagram model, and $25,000 in home renovations from a company in L.A.? We’re not sure how exactly that last one will work if you’re Olivia Coleman living in the U.K., but hey, free things are neat! Us poors can totally relate!

Oh sure, the We’re All Winners Because Look At Our Bags Brigade do have to pay taxes on the value of said goods, but it’s all worth it to get those toned celebrity arms liposucked with a $12,000 voucher for a treatment called “Celebrity Arms.” God knows, they all need it.

Zanandi is on Twitter.

Top Image: Reuben Teo/Unsplash

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