We’ll say this about Jake Paul: As a boxer, he has incredible promotion skillz:

The Kanye/Pete Davidson kerfuffle has been going on for months and shows no signs of dying any time soon. Earlier this month, Ye released a video featuring his claymation self kidnapping and decapitating (!) a Gumby-fied version of Davidson. Pretty badass!  

NBC

“Hey everyone, I’ll help bring about world peace in exchange for a few thousand retweets.”  

Sure, none of these celebrity scraps have a frozen’s custard chance in hell of happening. But give Jake Paul credit -- he knows we all love a good celebrity boxing match, especially when it involves our comedy favorites.  

There have been a few doozies over the years, with opportunists matching washed-up sitcom stars against one another to quench our thirst for comedy blood.  

There was Danny (Partridge Family) Bonaduce taking on Barry (Brady Bunch) Williams.  “Boom Boom” Bonaduce pounded the living tie-dye out of Williams, sending him to the mat a half-dozen times before taking him down in the second round with a TKO.

But our favorite has to be Screech Vs. Horshak in the Brawl to End the All. 

The bout was part of Celebrity Boxing, a short-lived TV show in the early 2000s that threw aging celebrities into the pit to see which would come out alive.  And let’s not confuse that show with Celebrity Deathmatch, with claymation bouts (is that where Kanye got the idea?) between celebs like Mariah Carey vs. Jim Carrey. 

MTV

Mariah Carey pounded the snot out of Carrey.

But back to Screech. The fight should probably have never happened -- Dustin Diamond outweighed Welcome Back Kotter’s Ron Pallilo by 54 pounds, and he was a whopping 28 years younger than his nerdy counterpart.  

“I actually felt terrible for Ron Palillo,” remembers The Best Damn Sports Show’s Chris Rose. "As dorky as Dusty Diamond can be, he actually was a trained boxer and had a huge size advantage. You could see Palillo was scared to death when he entered the ring.”

The fight ended with Palillo essentially running for his life, an uncomfortable mix of pathos and the undeniable comedy of seeing two dorky sitcom stars trying to knock each others’ lights out.  Both actors died young, and the embarrassment of Celebrity Boxing certainly couldn’t have been good for either man’s health. 

Which doesn’t mean we wouldn’t pay fifty bucks on pay-per-view to see Davidson and Ye duke it out in the ring. Long lanky Pete would likely have a reach advantage, but West seems built to take more body shots. Hard to say who would come out on top, but if both men could team up to take out Jake Paul? Everyone would win. 

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