Elden Ring hasn't even been out for a whole week, but outside of an easy-to-fix setback, it's already garnering some serious best game of all time buzz. Naturally, fans aren't content with just that and have resorted to trying to turn Elden Ring into the sexiest PG game experience of all time as well. The hilarious results offer the perfect counterweight to the game's dreary atmosphere.

One of the things From Software that revolutionized the gaming world was a messaging system that allowed players to leave behind helpful (or dangerous) messages for the players that would follow. This system didn't let players just write whatever they wanted and instead allowed them to combine a variety of previously approved words to create what would usually end up sounding like cryptic messages left by weird ethereal beings. This might have been more of an attempt to prevent the game from becoming a hate speech fest, but I'd like to think of it as a result of From's eternal need to make everything more complicated.

The first key to cracking the code is knowing that you cannot write "butt" for other players to read, but you can write "but." Players are adamant about teaching other players about the possible functions of their "butholes."

players make a very dirty proposal

From Software

NPCs in the game also tease the main character for not having a maiden, which naturally provides yet another limitless source of joke material.

From Software

It also works the other way round.

From Software

And that's where it gets hardcore. Whenever you see a large pointy object, you probably don't even need to read any adjacent message because it'll probably be about the messager wishing they had a huge "buthole."

From Software

Every. Goddamn. Time.

From Software

Regardless of how large and how pointy

And that's just when things start to get dirty, as players can also combine text messages with specters that they leave behind performing specific gestures:

From Software

And again, the other way around:

There used to be no word in the realm of the Lands Between for penis, a problem that players solved about two seconds into the game as they unanimously adopted one.

From Software

And it just never stops getting more embarrassing.

From Software

No, really.

From Software

This gets even weirder when you consider that the fact that they're both dead makes this more ok, probably.

Top Image: From Software

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