It seems like The Beatles are popping up in movies a lot these days. There was Yesterday, about a dude who somehow wipes the band from existence, the upcoming Midas Man about their manager, Brian Epstein, and of course Get Back, the new Hobbit-sized docuseries from director Peter Jackson, featuring never-before-seen, soon-to-be-iconic Beatle moments such as Paul writing “Get Back,” George quitting the band, and most memorably, Ringo cutting the cheese.

Disney

Just missing out on this trend was Robert Zemeckis’ canceled Yellow Submarine remake. Back in 2009, it was reported that Zemeckis was set to remake the animated classic, using the same CGI, motion-capture technique he employed in movies like The Polar Express, Beowulf, and A Christmas Carol. The project was eventually scrapped, partly due to America’s indifference to Disney’s “Playstation 3 cutscene” take on Charles Dickens’ holiday classic. 

Since then, some of the tests and concept art for the film have surfaced online, and they’re truly the stuff of Liverpudlian nightmares. For starters, there’s a snippet of the CGI Beatles, who wouldn’t look out of place abducting children on Christmas Eve with Tom Hanks.

Worse was the potential designs for the villainous creatures like the Blue Meanies. In the original, they were colorful, psychedelic oddballs, but here they straight-up look like they were belched out of a Hellmouth to devour the flesh of the innocent -- which is a dark twist for a Beatles film, hence why Satan’s minions never cameoed in A Hard Day’s Night.

And the loveable Jeremy Hillary Boob Ph.D. (Yes, there is a character named “Jeremy Hillary Boob Ph.D.”) looks like a rotund nudist who’s about to murder you on Purge night.

No amount of Lennon/McCartney bangers would be able to gloss over this horror show.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter

Top Image: Apple Films

Join the Cracked Movie Club

Expand your movie and TV brain--get the weekly Cracked Movie Club newsletter!

Tags

Forgot Password?