6 Creatively Funny Ways Gamers Screwed With NPCs

6 Creatively Funny Ways Gamers Screwed With NPCs

Many players only discover the neat game that's hidden inside every GTA title when they accidentally stumble upon a mission while on their way to start another e-murder spree. That's fun for a while -- a long while, sure -- but at some point, folks will no longer be able to quench their newfound thirst for innocent blood until they find new and more devious ways of torturing poor innocent NPCs ...

Hitman 3 Let's You Take A Tour Of Wine Country

Hydraulic press channels are one of the many inexplicable phenomena in the YouTube of our world … and apparently, that carries over into the world of the follicly challenged super killers, as Agent 47 can train a gigantic grape press to replace him. And boy, is it efficient -- so long as you have Atlas levels of patience. Instead of merely taking out his target, YouTuber Teallen 96 took 10 hours to knock out every single NPC in the entire level, drag them all under the press ...

… and turn them all into red wine (of the soylent variety.)

And if you aren't into the killing of innocents (and extreme grape-picking), you can just get rid of your boss instead. Diana is the player's handler in the series, and therefore someone the game kind of doesn't want to die -- unless it is by accident, of course. Turns out Diana's weakness is doors, which will trigger an instantly lethal allergic reaction upon contact.

IO Interactive

Or maybe it was all that people juice we gave her.

The Brown Wave Of Cities: Skylines

Why be a monster to just one person when you can be one to everyoneOne of the few dings that critics aimed at Cities: Skylines was that it didn't feature realistic natural disasters like the SimCity series, where a typhoon or a kaiju could teabag your city. Luckily, you can now either download the natural disasters DLC or have disasters happen via the most natural cause there is: The Player. We've never witnessed such a megalomaniac display of single-player vileness as that time YouTuber Tekist got through the trouble of creating a city of 200,000 inhabitants, only to then gather a comparatively larger mass of sewage which he released in the form of a "sewnami."

Paradox Interactive

The calm …

Paradox Interactive

... before ...

Paradox Interactive

... the shitstorm.

At the end of the video, Tekist claims that the experience was an absolute success. And for the soap industry, it was.

"Is that corn?"

Fallout Foodies Are Going Crazy Over The Tiniest Delicacy In The Wasteland

The Fallout series doesn't normally allow players to eat babies, but, If you want to do that -- for the sake of realism and nothing weird whatsoever -- players can install the simplest of mods that lets players eat one baby.


Fair compromise.

And it must taste great, as it's prompting a lot of Fallout players to trade our current dire times for the ever-dire times of Fallout 3 just to indulge in such delicacy. (Baby is the veal of humans.) A Fallout speedrunner called Tomatoanus (yes, that's the name) even crafted a handy tutorial on how to find baby Marie, the only baby in the wasteland, and eat it in less than 20 minutes after you start the game.

And before you start considering that this might be either "beyond evil" or that no one would be that hungry after such a short period of time, maybe focus on the bright side. Did you know that eating baby Marie gives players her natural resistance to radiation? Well, it's true. Bet you feel pretty silly being so judgemental now? (Just don't go trying it on other babies.)

Kentucky FarCry-ed Chicken

Most gamers who grew up playing the Zelda series know that you really shouldn't mess with chickens. However, a courageous group of developers set out to undo decades worth of slander in an explosive fashion. The creators of Far Cry New Dawn did it by introducing the ability to plant C-4 explosives on whatever you want in a world that happens to have chickens.

The definitely unintended presence of those two simple elements makes for just enough fertile ground for inventive YouTubers like StealthgamerBR to recruit unwitting chickens in their war against Colonel Sanders.


Which is ... 


… unbelievably effective.


Less "Chicken tender" and more "Chicken merciless." 

And before you think we're having fun with animal cruelty: The chickens in New Dawn feel no pain and know the touch of immortality:


This type of warfare is pretty much vegan.

Meaning it's completely okay to kick chickens into your enemies' faces, which foregoes the overtly complicated moral ambiguity thing.


… Over the chickens, not the humans. That's still on you.

It's All Fun And Games Until You Mess With The Dog NPCs

Very few games without "the last" and "of us" in their title are fine with having players kill animals, especially when they are of the cute kind. The folks who made Genshin Impact tried making the dogs unkillable (take notes, God), but Cruella De Vil-lainous player /u/derek56767 successfully managed to make use of data seemingly collected from removing ladders from pools in The Sims to tragic results.

Turns out that, work-wise, permanently turning a dog into a submarine in Genshin Impact isn't that hard. You only need to bait it into a pond:

miHO Yo

Then abandon all of your humanity while you wait for it to drown.

While watching a random body of water kill a creature that, on top of having anime-tier powers, is programmed to be as immortal as the noble chicken is a morbid dunk on developers lacking foresight, the last laugh would still belong to the game as Derek instantly began to regret his actions.

miHO Yo

Either because he regrew a heart, or because getting something Wick-related for killing a dog isn't a very good omen.

The Gaming World's First Eco-Friendly Murder-Coaster

One could theorize that theme park games are secretly SAW trap generators 101. We've all enjoyed seeing (or making) roller coasters designed solely to cause the gruesome deaths of our guests. Still, most of us do it in an unsustainable manner. While we're probably never gonna run out of NPCs to kill, it's cool to take some environmentally responsible measures in the virtual world, y'know, since the real one is pretty much already doomed.

Let's game it out's YouTube channel has seemingly set out to create a theme park where nothing goes to waste, by which we mean that they abuse villagers in every possible way before finally murdering them. This roller coaster hits peak cost efficiency by endangering not just the people riding it but also the ones trying to get killed in different rides.

Frontier Developments

Well, this is a hard sell for a Fast Pass.

And nothing goes to waste here, as everyone gets funneled down ...

Frontier Developments

... into something that looks like a shotgun …

Frontier Developments

… and shoots human buckshot ...

Frontier Developments


… into a volcano.

Frontier Developments

We aren't exaggerating when we say this deserves a Nobel Prize.

Top image: Ubisoft

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