5 Bozo Conspiracies About Celebrities Making The Rounds
Listen, we could tell you that society has a severe problem with obsessing over celebrities. We could also tell you that gossip and rumors will probably never go away because we're just too goddamn fascinated with each other. But instead of doing all that, we'll simply present you with some of the most ridiculous modern conspiracy theories about famous people today because breaking down these theories and learning how they come about might just explain a couple of things.
Also, people thinking LeBron James is some kind of sorcerer is just plain hilarious. Though that would explain how his hairline has magically returned ...
Kurt Cobain Is Actually Rivers Cuomo
Musicians seem to attract a lot of conspiracy theories in general, especially the kind that sees them reinvent themselves to become other people. Katy Perry is secretly JonBenet Ramsey, Canadian band Klaatu was actually The Beatles, Andrew Wilkes-Krier and Dave Grohl are supposedly the same person, and of course, there's the one where Avril Lavigne died and was replaced by a doppelganger for reasons no one actually knows or care about. The King of Grunge - who himself has a ton of conspiracies surrounding his life and death - has one of these, too. Apparently, some people believe that Kurt Cobain faked his own death and remade himself into Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo. If you need to take a second on that, go for it. We understand.
This theory is based mainly on the fact that Weezer likes to play Nirvana covers (apparently a little too well), it's widely known that Cuomo is a big Cobain fan, and the claim that they kind of look like each other.
There are two interesting parts to this theory:
1) Two years before Cobain's death and the end of Nirvana in 1994, Weezer came onto the scene, which means that for two years, their bands co-existed. Believers claim that they never had any overlapping shows, meaning their gigs fit together like puzzle pieces to make people coming up with these theories, like, rock hard. However, this point gets infinitely dumber if you actually go and compare their schedules. There are clear overlaps, guys. Down with the rock-hard boners. Unless we're talking about magical top-secret teleportation methods actually existing, there's no way Cobain could be in Ireland and a club in California at the same time. There are also a couple of overlaps during December of 1993, but who cares when someone already said otherwise. Proof and logic do not a boner make, clearly.
2) Cuomo has had some fun embracing this dumb but also kind of complimentary conspiracy theory. The guy's quirky like that, so it shouldn't be surprising that he played along during a podcast interview by doing his best Cobain impression and pretending like the theory is true. He said how movies about "him" (as Cobain) just never got it right, he talked about how his band moved to L.A., but everyone there was just obsessed about "things called songs and hooks and lyrics," and he joked around about what it would look like if he really was Cobain turned Cuomo.
It's weird when you see it as him playing along with a somewhat insensitive conspiracy theory, hilarious when you listen to him speak about leaving clues and breadcrumbs during his "Nirvana days," and sad when you realize he's just a big ol' superfan paying tribute to a guy he absolutely loved and adored.
All the feels. Let's just listen to the Weezer cover of "Lithium'." You know, the one that made Dave Grohl cry.
The One Where LeBron James Can Conjure Demons
Listen, we don't care if you're not into sports; it's all good. But there's one thing you need to understand about this extremely popular pastime for billions of people worldwide: Sports are steeped in traditions and rituals. Some athletes like to pray, chant, or do some kind of choreographed movement before a game to either bring them luck or give them that extra boost and motivation. It's superstitious, in the same way that people think that the world might implode if they don't comment "nice" whenever they see the number 69 or whatever.
Sports celebrities often do some ritualistic act for showmanship because your sport means nothing if you don't have the fans. And fans need to be entertained, lest they flip the channel and watch reruns of The Office instead. Famous basketball player LeBron James has a particular albeit on-off ritual: He throws some talcum powder into the air. Like this:
Commonly referred to as the "chalk toss," James has been doing this pregame ritual for years, frequently taking breaks from it for no apparent reason, really. People seemed to miss the spectacle more than he did, so when he joined the Lakers in 2018, he hinted that he'd be bringing it back, and during a game in Shenzhen, China, he did.