Last month, the world TUNA-ed in as Subway, the official restaurant of suburban dads everywhere, was slapped with a new lawsuit, alleging that its tuna was not, in fact, tuna, a shocking revelation from the chain whose bread isn't considered bread in the eyes of an Irish court. As the world waits with BAITED breath to discover the content of Subway's fish, as according to an attorney representing the case's plaintiffs, scientists are FLOUNDERING to determine what, exactly is inside of the alleged mystery meat concoction, one expert has emerged from mid-2000's obscurity to diss the sandwich joint -- none other than Jessica Simpson.
In 2003, Simpson dominated the national conversation after asking a truly deep, existential question to her then-husband, singer Nick Lachey, on their reality show, Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica. "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish?," she asked, noshing on a bowl of seafood. "I know it's tuna but it says, 'Chicken By the Sea.'" Although Simpson's profound inquiry was eventually resolved, as Lachey explained that despite the meat product's branding of "Chicken of The Sea," she was, in fact eating tuna, the debacle has gone down in pop culture history, making the pop star a (fish)bonafide expert on. the topic.
So as Subway BASShes the allegations of FISHY behavior regarding their meat offerings, maintaining that the meat in question is "100% cooked tuna ... which is mixed with mayonnaise," Simpson took it upon herself to speak out on her aquatic area of expertise, sharing a SPLASH of shade for the fast-food chain. "It's OK, @SUBWAY," the star wrote on Twitter. "It IS confusing."
Ouch. I bet this insult is absolutely KRILL-ing the sandwich chain. But hey, you live and you Lyer-n-tail.