Did Elle Cover Up For Another Crime In 'Legally Blonde'?

In the climax of Legally Blonde, Elle Woods is in a pickle: She has to defend her client, Brooke Taylor, from her husband's murder, but she can't reveal Taylor's alibi. Here's a refresher:

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Elle successfully wields her haircare knowledge to cajole Taylor's stepdaughter into confessing to the murder, saving the day as expected but leaving the question of what Brooke Taylor was actually doing that day open because she almost certainly wasn't getting liposuction.

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Liposuction is a pretty major surgery that usually requires general anesthesia, but even if Taylor was just so hardcore and independent that she insisted on local anesthesia without sedation of any kind for no reason, she would at the very least be given some kind of painkiller that would impair her ability to drive. Even if she didn't take it, operating a car after getting the fat sucked out of your ass sounds needlessly uncomfortable, so it's almost certain that somebody else drove her home.

If Brooke was so worried about her reputation, that person probably wouldn't even know why she needed a ride from a doctor's office. It was probably a full-time chauffeur who drives her around everywhere anyway because people with that kind of money don't lower themselves to such plebeian activities as driving. Why not just put that person on the stand? Why not her doctor? They're bound by doctor-patient confidentiality, and exactly what procedure she received is pretty far from relevant in that there murder trial.

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Elle Woods is the smartest person alive, so if these questions occur to some dumbass on the Internet, they occurred to her, too. She must have done some poking around, and if she decided the best strategy was to wing it and hope there were pool boys to out and heiresses to intimidate, she must not have found anything. So what was Taylor really doing? Who knows? Affair with a straight man? Illuminati meeting? Sitting in her car singing along to "Mambo No. 5" for three full hours? Whatever the case, that's the sequel we deserve.

Top image: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

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