Well, folks, Ken Bone, America's most famous red-sweater-wearing uncommitted voter, is back and somehow still as undecided as ever as we enter into the 2020 election. How is that possible at this point? Well, reader, that is a mystery only God himself and a few celebrity psychics (or, well, maybe not) can answer. Yet there is one thing Mr. Bone says he's sure about in this um, unique election year -- the candidates are definitely mediocre.
"To be perfectly honest, I'd say I'm uncommitted again," Bone told the Newsweek reporter who inexplicably decided to ask him for his hot takes on an already spicy election. "Very, very few people in either of these election cycles were truly undecided. They're uncommitted, which means that you don't really have a positive opinion of either candidate."
The notoriously vicious presidential debates haven't helped him solidify views, either. "I didn't have a very high opinion of either of them to begin with, so it was hard to lower it," Bone said of the debate. "I think that we kind of got what we expected. In a way, we almost got what we deserved because we've all played our part in raising the temperature of political discourse. It leads to a couple of people who are probably older than your grandparents, yelling at each other and telling each other to shut up, and talking over each other like drunk relatives at Thanksgiving. It was insanity." You're telling us, Ken, you're telling us.
Bone, who was outspoken about his status as a member of the #YangGang earlier this year, first stepped into the limelight during the 2016 election, when he asked then candidates, Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton and President Donald Trump for their takes on energy during a debate, gaining points online for his reliability and red sweater, even earning the title of an American hero, according to The Washington Post. Even amid the divisiveness of the election, Americans from all walks of life and political leanings found themselves momentarily together, firmly bonding in the Bone Zone, creating a type of unity it seemed as if only Dolly Parton could foster in such a split nation.
Yet, this togetherness was short-lived -- the Illinoisan quickly fell from grace after his Reddit history came to light, flaunting his penchant for pregnancy porn, gross views on the murder of Trayvon Martin, and his alleged act of felony insurance fraud. He was truly the hero America deserved, not the one we needed -- a notion that rings true even more so in 2020. Between a global pandemic, calls to end systemic racism, the collapse of our mail system, and hell, even murder hornets, the last thing we need is the waffling dude who lives down the street providing us context on the shitshow we're currently trapped inside of.
Yet here we are, recapping his thoughts anyways. On some level, though, his dedication is endearing. "It's a difficult process to watch; it's like watching your own house burn down. But I feel like I owe it to people to watch," He said of his plans to watch the debates, referencing his newfound digital popularity.
Good on you, Ken, but to paraphrase staff writer for The Atlantic, @amandamull:
Update: Since this article was written, Bone tweeted that he voted for Libertarian candidate, Jo Jorgensen. I guess he really was undecided...