Jimmy Carter's Hemorrhoids Offer A Weird Historical Parallel To Trump's White House

As President Trump enjoys(?) his first day back in the White House after being discharged from Walter Reed National Military Medical Center during his battle with Covid-19, it's time we look back at yet another presidential health crisis that has gotten lost in the ANNALS of history -- that time President Jimmy Carter told the world about his hemorrhoids. Yes, back in the day, some presidents were excruciatingly straightforward about their health problems.

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It was December 1978. The Dr. Strange TV movie was released to um, interesting, reviews. Everyone was obsessed with the "disturbingly horny" film, Grease. The world was still reeling from the iconic dumpster fire that was the Star Wars Holiday Special. Yet most importantly, Jimmy Carter took a day off due to a flare-up of hemorrhoids, according to a report from The Washington Post

Carter, who had suffered from hemorrhoids since he was in college (haven't we all!) had an attack and found himself bedridden, canceling all of his presidential duties (at least as many as he could) as he and his doctors waited to see if surgery would be required to resolve the issue.  Although after a few days of rest, examinations, and pain medication, the president's condition began to improve, the world almost never had the opportunity to hear about President Carter as the, erm, butt of the joke.

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According to Andrea Mitchell, the NBC News Chief Foreign Affairs Correspondent, American journalist Jonathan Alter said that the White House wanted to release a vague statement, but President Carter said nay -- the world needed to know about the happenings in his nether-regions. "This will be bad for markets," the President allegedly said. "This will be bad in terms of a message that it sends overseas."

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Yet this story has a happy ending -- while the president may have suffered greatly over those few days towards the end of his affliction,  he felt well enough to attend a holiday party that evening. Talk about a Christmas miracle. Good on you Jimmy! Happy hemorrhoids to all, and to all a good night. 

For more lowbrow humor, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.

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