Gender Reveal Parties Have Always Been Awful
You might have heard by now about the gender reveal party, which caused a wildfire on California on Saturday, burning over 10,000 acres in the process. If you haven't, well, a fucking gender reveal party has caused a wildfire that has burnt down over 10,000 acres since Saturday.
The fire was reportedly caused by a "smoke-generating pyrotechnic device" because nothing says "responsible pregnancy," quite like filling a room with smoke. But for as stupid as this is (and it sure is stupid), this isn't the first time a gender reveal party has resulted in chaos. There's just something about announcing "here's what my baby's chromosomes look like" that has been making people throw caution to the wind for the past stupid, stupid decade. Unfortunately for these people, they end up throwing their child's future college fund to the wind as well, after paying the state for damages.
Take the gender reveal party from two years ago, which sparked a week-long wildfire in Arizona after some moron shot a target so it would explode with either pink or blue powder. This not-so-sharpshooter was ordered to pay $8 million in damages and serve five years probation. There's the gender reveal party last year which killed a woman after flying debris hit her in the head from what amounted to a homemade pipe-bomb. "It's a girl!" the coroner must have had to sadly check off in her report. Then there was the gender reveal plane that crashed (luckily no one was killed), the car which was ignited and burst into blue flames, and just a slew of incidents that land somewhere between "America's Funniest Home Videos" and torture porn:
It's only one of the reasons why Jenna Karvunidis, the woman who invented gender reveal parties, is pleading for people to cut it out. On her Facebook, she wrote, "Stop having these stupid parties. For the love of God, stop burning things down to tell everyone about your kid's penis. No one cares but you." Frankly, we couldn't have said it better ourselves.
Support Dan on Twitter and he will talk about his life with you in lieu of getting a therapist.