Of Course Pitchfork Crapped On ‘Bill & Ted Face the Music’

SPOILERS for Bill & Ted Face the Music below ... [AIR GUITAR SOUNDS]

One of the most popular movies on VOD right now is Bill & Ted Face the Music, the new film in the beloved franchise that already includes two other feature films, multiple TV series, a breakfast cereal, and the only children's action figure line to include brutal warlord Genghis Khan. The new movie finds Bill and Ted struggling to write the song that will not only pave the way for a utopian society but also prevent reality as we know it from falling apart.

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While the movie is a goddamn delight, apparently, not everyone is a fan. Pitchfork, the internet's "most trusted voice in music," has a big problem with the ending, namely that the climactic song "kinda sucks." Which ... um, isn't the point? In the end, it turns out that what saves the world isn't the song itself, but the fact that everyone in the world plays it. Bill and Ted's daughters create a simple groove that everyone jams along with, then Bill and Ted use the time machine's infinity button to spread copies of themselves throughout history, enlisting everyone who has ever lived to play along. 

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This fixes a big problem with the franchise; namely, the idea of a future society founded upon the principles of two wealthy white suburban boys' heavy metal music sounds absolutely terrifying. Now the Bill & Ted-verse's future isn't defined by one musical voice, but by every possible musical voice, good or bad. 

Are there logistical problems with this? Sure. Like, if everyone who ever lived is playing, does that mean Bill and Ted popped by 1930s Berlin and gave Hitler a recorder or something? But criticizing the song, which is admittedly thrown together at the last minute and ultimately incidental from a compositional standpoint, seems to be missing the point.

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Perhaps it's not all that surprising that Pitchfork took issue with this ending and its "wordless millennial loop." Pitchfork is famous for being made up of fussily uncharitable tastemakers who assign perfect 10 ratings to only a select fewBill and Ted Face the Music, on the other hand, is ultimately about democratizing music and celebrating it as an ever-changing conversation between generations that should be open to everyone.

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Top Image: Orion Pictures

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