Uh Oh, We’re Inching Towards the ‘Demolition Man’ Future

Belated sequels to Sylvester Stallone movies have been somewhat of a mixed bag; sure, the Creed movies were pretty good, but the latest Rambo entry played like a Breitbart article written by a sentient machete. So we're not completely unskeptical of the news that, according to Stallone, a follow-up to Demolition Man is in the works. Even more worrying is the way reality itself is slowly becoming the future depicted in the 1993 film.

Piece by piece, society is paving the way for the 2032 of Demolition Man. Like our current toilet paper shortage, which naturally opens the field for a new alternative method of cleaning your butthole -- which may or may not involve three seashells.

Uh Oh, We’re Inching Towards the ‘Demolition Man’ FutureWarner Bros.

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With the COVID-19 pandemic devastating the restaurant industry, perhaps that explains why only a corporate-owned chain eatery like Taco Bell exists in the future. Though this theory doesn't explain why their food no longer looks like a pickup truck's worth of mystery meat crammed into a soiled hammock.

Uh Oh, We’re Inching Towards the ‘Demolition Man’ FutureWarner Bros.

Remember how in Demolition Man, the most popular radio station plays only songs from commercials? That could be because the lack of live performances killed the music industry, and somehow the creepy personalization of brand Twitter fills that void by convincing us all to listen to jingles 24/7.

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If you think this all sounds like a stretch, let us remind you that Demolition Man takes place in a future that's been shaped by multiple pandemics, which is why people don't actually touch when they high-five, and sex is done through a virtual reality system that's presumably just some newfangled version of Animal Crossing.

Uh Oh, We’re Inching Towards the ‘Demolition Man’ FutureWarner Bros.

Uh Oh, We’re Inching Towards the ‘Demolition Man’ FutureWarner Bros.

Although, as we've mentioned before, Demolition Man is wildly off-base about certain things, such as its prediction that a lack of guns will be one of America's biggest problems. Also, its premise that a villainous doctor will use a global emergency to seize power using disease prevention protocols is probably not something anyone should be watching right now.

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Top Image: Warner Bros.


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