Inside The Sad World Of NBA Diss Tracks
At 7'5'', Boston Celtics center, and possible slender man, Tacko Fall is the tallest man in the NBA. And this year, at the NBA's dunk contest, Orlando Magic forward Aaron Gordon dunked over him ...
... and lost. Again. The second loss, combined with the belief that dunk contest judge, retired Miami Heat player Dwyane Wade, deliberately rigged the thing so a player from his former franchise would get the win, caused Gordon to snap. In doing so, he unleashed the goofiest form of retaliation in an NBA player's repertoire: The diss track. Mustering up all fury of a Nyquil bottle recording an ASMR video, yesterday Gordon dropped this on Wade and the world.
Some lowlights include some baffling voice alterations, self-censoring a "Deez Nutz!" joke, and invoking Kobe Bryant -- the second saddest thing to happen to Kobe this year. Wade, for his part, tweeted back this little bit of self-promotion:
This isn't the first NBA beef that's made its way to the grill. The low point being the infamous instance when Shaq invited the aforementioned Kobe to dine on his asshole.
You know your bars are sad when your offer to pay your new teammate to fight your target comes off as the wiser decision. In the present day, Shaq has taken the lyrical heat to Portland Trailblazers guard Damian Lillard.