Dear God, Can This S#!T Infect The Dead?

We don't mean to alarm you, but there could be a slight possibility that the novel coronavirus might be transferable through corpses. If you're thinking right now that this feels very much like a precursor to a zombie movie, then congrats, we probably take the same dosage of Zoloft. But before you reach for the pill bottle or run to the store to stock up on baseball bats and shotgun ammo, let us try and put this into perspective.

Pictured: a COVID-19 preparedness kit.Pixabay via PexelsPictured: a COVID-19 preparedness kit.

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The infection occurred within Thailand, which is a country with a fairly low caseload of 2,579 despite reporting numbers early on. "This is the first report on COVID-19 infection and death among medical personnel in a Forensic Medicine unit," according to a Journal of Forensic and Legal Medicine study. It could well be that COVID-19 cannot transfer through dead bodies, but simply that infected materials were used in the handling of the body. Or it could simply be that this is a very rare, nature-defying case and not the start of a trend. But even if this is a newly discovered feature of COVID-19, it serves as a prudent reminder to morgue technicians and funeral home workers to be on their guard, which in turn, will keep us safer in the future.

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At least, that's the type of shit we tell ourselves to keep from melting down. Because, as anyone that's played Plague Inc. knows, transmission through corpses is pretty high up on the skill tree. If coronavirus can access the realm of the dead, then who knows what else it is capable of? Space transmission? Time travel? Will we nearly eliminate Coronavirus only for it to journey back to 1776 and kill George Washington?!

Deep breath. Ok, we're calm. We're calm. Maybe we're overreacting. This probably won't turn out to be too big a deal. Just wash your hands people. Wash your damn hands.

Top Image: Brett Sayles/Pexels

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