Bizarro Tales Of Incredible Customer Service

4

A Tech Support Rep Helped a Group of Marines Fix a Sniper Rifle (In the Middle of a Warzone)

You know Murphy's Law; that rule about how if something can go wrong, it will? Well, we'd like to propose a variation where if something can go wrong, it won't just go wrong -- it'll go wrong at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way. We're talking about those times when your car runs reliably for years ... only for your engine to die while you're driving to an interview. We're talking about those times when you need to send an important email ... and a blackout hits your neighborhood. We're talking about those times when you're getting shot at by a group of insurgents ... and your gun decides to break.

Okay, that last one admittedly doesn't happen to most people. Still, it sure as hell happened to a group of Marines who discovered in the middle of a firefight, that their unit's Godkiller weapon -- a .50 caliber Barrett M107 -- had decided to hell with war and abruptly retired from turning enemy combatants into clouds of pink mist. Being resourceful types, however, they didn't take this laying down and channeling their inner soccer mom, decided to speak to the gun's manager -- by which we mean, they called tech support.

U.S. Marine Corps / Lance Cpl. Jacob Wilson"They said, 'Have you tried switching it off and on again?'"

As luck would have it, the unit's call was transferred to Don Cook -- warranty manager, rifle expert, veteran, and all-round ass-kicker -- who after talking through the problem, diagnosed the fault as being due to a faulty part in the lower receiver. He then, knowing that they likely didn't have any tools, talked them through an improvisational fix, which got the gun working within less than a minute.

They then hung up, although Cook clearly didn't take it too personally, considering that he later described the call as being "one of the biggest highlights [of] my life." We hope they sent him a fruit basket -- or at least gave him five stars on the post-call survey.

3

A Trio of Mechanics Rescued a Customer's Car from Thieves (In The Badassest Way Possible)

Contrary to what the movies might tell you, being a mechanic usually doesn't involve the criminal underworld (Except for the insurance companies. Oh!). If you're expecting car chases like in Fast and the Furious, be prepared to be disappoi--

autoevolution

2

Two Japanese Train Operators Issued Apologies After Their Trains Left Only SECONDS Early

There's literally nothing worse than public transportation that runs late. There's a lot of other problems, sure, like how a monthly pass costs the same as a small mortgage or how we finish every journey smelling faintly of piss, but the lateness thing? That's just disrespectful.

Piqsels"Thank you for riding with us today. We hope you fucking die."

In Japan, however, things are a little different. In 2017 and 2018, two train operators in willingly(!) apologized to commuters after two trains left their stations early. That's no better than being late, mind, but hear us out for a second. They didn't leave ten or five minutes early, or even just one minute early. They left twenty-five seconds early (at most).

1

Nintendo Opened Its Secretive Game Boy Vault to Help An Old Lady

At any given time, someone, somewhere on the internet is arguing about who counts as a "real" gamer. So, allow us to suggest a compromise: that the only true gamer was the unnamed 90-plus-year-old grandmother from Japan who, over the course of her long life, wore out THREE Game Boys playing her beloved Tetris.

As her daughter -- Kuniko Tsusaka -- recounted in an interview with one of Japan's biggest newspapers earlier this year, her mother was practically attached to her console at the hip. Like your grandfather and his train set, or your cousin and that weird-ass anime pillow. Several years ago, however, Tsusaka's mother fell ill at the same time that her third Game Boy, which at that point was old enough to be called a Game Man, wore out. As Nintendo stopped producing them in 2003, the family tried to have the console repaired locally -- to no avail, unfortunately.