Acclaimed musician Fiona Apple recently told the New Yorker about an "excruciating night" she allegedly spent doing cocaine with acclaimed directors Quentin Tarantino and Paul Thomas Anderson. If from that bare-bones, but still vivid description, you already guessed that this was the last night she ever did cocaine -- you are absolutely right.
It's a small side-story in a sprawling 10,000-word profile, by Pulitzer prize-winning writer Emily Nussbaum, that's really worth a read on its own so you can better understand the life and hardships of one of America's best singer-songwriters. But 48 of those words come together to form an irresistibly bit of gossip that feeds our collective suspicion that Quentin Tarantino is such an unbearable coked-out braggart that hanging out with him for a single night is a wake-up call that forces you to get your shit together.
There isn't a single other detail of that night mentioned in the article other than what I've already given you. Fiona Apple didn't mention what QT and PTA were bragging about that irked her ire that fateful night in Tarantino's private movie theater. One can only imagine that when one very racist 1970s exploitation film ended, it was immediately followed by an extremely misogynistic early 1960s Italian arthouse flick, and so on, and so on until daybreak.
Of course, assuming she got out by sunup is at best an optimistic best guess. The article never mentions how long she was in there before she could get away from being stuck listening to two yapping chihuahuas with Criterion Collections. Was it until the cocaine ran out? Until the parade of self-congratulatory bragging ran dry? Or did she stage a daring escape after the third time PTA praised Daniel Day-Lewis for his impassioned commitment, with Tarantino saying the N-word in agreement before coming up with more ideas for sequels for his movies that he'll never make? Probably that last one.
We may not know all the details of that night, but we do know that they lead to someone kicking a bad habit and that talking to Quentin Tarantino about movies on coke is now is a new definition of rock-bottom.
Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's BunnyEars.com and his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast. And now you can listen to the first episode on Youtube!