This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Technology is great, right? At least, when it's not being evil. That's why we've rounded up some of the best deals on tech devices, gadgets, and accessories we could find that we can guarantee will never turn malevolent.* From headphones to smart TVs, check out these deals below.
*Guarantee void in the event of ghosts.
Where else can you get a pair of Sony headphones for less than $20? The trunk of that guy who sells "name-brand" gear in the flea market parking lot? Take a closer look: Those say "Pony." These comfortable headphones have punchy 1.38" neodymium dynamic drivers and an inline remote and mic to let you take calls and control the music hands-free. They have no association with Ginuwine, but they work a lot better. Ginuwine's not really that guy's cousin anyway.
At an even deeper discount, this 2017 model features Sony's Extra Bass power as well as expanded low-frequency range to deliver sound exactly as it was meant to be heard. Plus, the durable, finely-grooved serrated cable reduces tangling. These are $80 headphones, y'all! Don't you want to brag to the girls and/or boys about your bargain-spotting abilities? It's what the cool kids do.
These true wireless headphones fit comfortably in your ears with no wires to bug you. They feature cVc 6.0 active noise-cancellation so the rest of the world won't bug you, either.
With 1.18" drivers and enhanced Bluetooth connectivity, this 2016 Sony model is a great budget alternative to pricier over-ear headphones. A single charge is worth eight hours of calls and music, and it even takes voice commands. Your headphones will know who's in charge around here even if your cat disagrees.
For just a few dollars more, you can get a whopping 30 hours of continuous playback before needing a charge with these top-end wireless headphones from Sony. Connect and stream easily via Bluetooth or NFC, and enjoy that Extra Bass technology that creates an immersive, fully-resonating soundscape. You might be stuck in a budget studio, but if you close your eyes, you can be anywhere YouTube can take you.
If you're a simple man or woman who don't need no fancy iWad or whatever, this no-frills tablet is a cost-effective way to get online. With 16GB of onboard storage, you can keep music and photos while a 9-hour battery life means there's nothing to physically stop you from browsing all day. Go ahead and do it. You're an adult.
Chromebooks are known for their user-friendly convenience, and this one is no exception. With a 10-hour battery life and 4GB of RAM, this efficient Chromebook will keep you connected all day and give you an excellent mobile workstation that utilizes Chrome OS. At that price, you'd be a fool not to spend hours in a coffee shop looking cool and mysterious. "What are they writing?" they'll all wonder. "A novel? A dissertation?" Joke's on them; it's Trolls fanfiction.
Look at this guy. Can you even tell he's not the latest iPad? This 2012 iPad model features a 9.7" Retina display, giving you a more spacious screen to organize apps and watch videos. Plus, with 32GB of onboard storage and Siri compatibility, it's more user-friendly than previous models. No one will know the difference, and if they do, they're a technophile weirdo and they should feel bad about themselves.
This 2013 iPad model is great for managing your email, connecting with friends, and streaming your favorite shows. With a 5MP rear iSight camera and 1.2MP FaceTime camera, it's perfect for staying in touch. Now you've just gotta make sure your bedroom, bathtub, or wherever else you'll be FaceTiming from looks cool, but we suspect you'll find something for that in the Cracked Shop as well.
Microsoft Surface is the tablet of the NFL, and a multi-billion-dollar industry can't rely on a janky tablet. With a 6th gen Intel Core i5 processor and a massive 256GB of onboard storage, this 2017 model is the opposite of janky. Enjoy 2736 x 1824 resolution for up to 9 hours on a single charge while you churn through your to-do list and try to ignore that awesome bird.
Feel like a freaking magician (the cool kind) as you convert between a notebook and a tablet with this ingenious multi-touch Surface Book. Powered by an 8th gen Intel Core i7 processor, you can seamlessly switch between a keyboard laptop and touchscreen without sacrificing any processing power. Plus, with 256GB of onboard storage, it's big enough to support all of your files. Even the really big ones. You know the ones.
Sale Price: $379
Looking to complete an office setup with a sleek-looking desktop computer? You could do a lot worse than an iMac, Apple's flagship computer. It looks retro and modern at the same time. It's the Lenny Kravitz of desktops.
Boasting a powerful 8th Gen Intel(R) Core(TM) i7 processor and Intel(R) UHD Graphics 620 graphics card, this laptop is an absolute powerhouse for speedy PC performance. Play games, watch movies, and more for 12 hours on a single charge. We can't recommend that you do all of those things at the same time to test it, but you probably could. Plus, you can use it with a stylus, so if you get the sudden urge to doodle in the middle of Game of Thrones, that's between you and your pharmacist. That's a little something we call "freedom," baby.
More than $800 off this absolutely insane TV?! It's not a Hollywood illusion! But you will see Hollywood illusions better than ever with the massive 86" 4K HDR TV's incredible picture. It also uses webOS, giving you access to all of your favorite apps and services in one place, and even has voice and smart home integration via AI ThinQ(R), so when you yell at the TV, you can actually yell at the TV.
No more buying ludicrously large packs of pens at Staples for you! This ingenious pen is made with an AXL-METAL tip that never runs out of ink and never fails to work. Rest assured that if nothing else, your pen situation is taken care of.
This Bluetooth speaker is IPX4 water-resistant, making it an awesome accessory for summer adventures. You can take it in the shower, to the pool, to the beach, the penguin enclosure at the aquarium after closing, anywhere you want to have your music. Just make sure the penguins are cool with Beyonce. (They are.)
Sometimes, even a finicky scroll wheel is enough to push you over the edge. On those days, Apple's wireless mouse is there for you. It's responsive as all heck, making it easy to scroll across your screen, through webpages, and more with simple moves of your fingers. Don't worry. It's going to be okay.
Got a Qi-compatible phone like a Samsung Galaxy or iPhone 10? Charge it in style at your desk with this classy, marble-looking pad. Just set your phone down on this nice desk piece and you'll have all the power you need. The phone power, anyway. Any global domination plans you've got are your own problem.
You've said you've felt the music in your bones before, but this is ridiculous! The HumBird Speaker uses cutting-edge bone conduction technology to deliver a high sound volume. It's 4 to 5 times louder than the average cell phone speakers' volume, reaches up to 115dB, and it allows you to personalize the tone quality. Also, it's called HumBird, and that's funny.
Apple's Magic Keyboard is magic because it has no wires! It also wilts until you learn to love another and earn their love in return! Okay, that part's not true, but it's extremely easy to swivel around in your chair and type with this keyboard on your lap so you can keep working as you eat your croissant on the side.