OK, but that doesn't count, because they later fall in love and get married. But then in Iron Man 2, when he meets Black Widow, who is undercover as a Stark employee, he gawks at her for an uncomfortable length of time.

Paramount Pictures

Paramount Pictures

He insists that she should be his assistant, purely because he wants to have sex with her. He literally met her a minute and a half earlier.

Paramount Pictures

Then he starts Googling lingerie photos of her while she's still in the room. Putting a cap on it, he then tells Pepper "I want one."

Paramount PicturesWhich, yeah, pretty standard billionaire thing to say, but still a bit below-board in what we're looking for in a superhero.

Of course, Tony continued to grow and mature as the films progressed, but we're sure lucky Thanos didn't ultimately win while Iron Man's dumb ass was tangled up in multiple lawsuits worthy of 24-hour TMZ coverage.

In the third issue, Professor X's inner monologue reveals that he's in love with Jean, but he can "never tell her." Because he's a grown-ass man and she's a teenager? Because she's his student? Nope! He doesn't want to make a move because he's "confined" to a wheelchair.

Marvel Comics"You know I can read minds too, right?"

Now we can't help but see Cerebro as the comic book equivalent of a tinted van full of candy.

If that wasn't bad enough, he secretly smuggles the kids out of school to audition for a battle of the bands. At one point he loses track of one of the kids, who is literally in the back of a stranger's van.

Paramount Pictures

Paramount PicturesOf course, if they don't wind up gambling in the back of a stranger's van, how are they going to learn critical life lessons, like "Never stand on a soft 17"?

Luckily, it belongs to a band and not a murderer. And in the end, after Dewey's caught, he becomes a music teacher for real, despite all this creepy behavior. That's like if Bonnie & Clyde ended with the couple being given jobs as bank managers. Also, shouldn't he be in jail? He committed multiple crimes, right? Hell, when the police come for him, it cuts to him running down the hall.

Paramount Pictures

Paramount PicturesAt best that's resisting arrest. At worst he probably had to assault a cop in order to escape.

Almost Famous is a heartwarming story about a teen boy befriending a bunch of statutory rapists. One might defend this as an accurate reflection of the kind of sordid hijinks that happened all the time in the '70s, while America was distracted by Watergate and Burt Reynolds' mustache. But consider that the real-life inspiration for Hudson's character didn't start hanging around with bands until she was 17, which was apparently a little too long in the tooth for Crowe.

But don't let the wholesome exterior fool you. These characters are deeply disturbing, twisted individuals. The story is basically The Hills Have Eyes, but with songs. The movie follows seven brothers who live in the mountains during the 1800s. During a trip into town, they meet some girls they fancy, so these smitten lads decide to ... leave, then return under cover of darkness and abduct them. Seriously, they grab these women, shove sacks over their heads, and throw them screaming onto a sleigh like some kind of human-trafficking Santa.

Then they purposefully cause an avalanche so that none of these women's families can save them.

Loew's Inc.We keep waiting for this romantic comedy to stop sounding like something ISIS would do.

In the end, the brothers and their abductees all marry -- not out of love, but because the townspeople finally reach them and force a mass shotgun wedding after it's become apparent that they've all had sex.

Loew's Inc.So yes, it does end with seven brides for seven brothers. We're just saying that Seven Abductees For Seven Horny Maniacs would have been more accurate.

The next year, in the episode "Galaxy's Child," the real Dr. Brahms comes to visit. And even though she's kind of a jerk, Geordi still relentlessly hits on her, which seems unprofessional, to say the least. Geordi backs off when he finds out she's married. But then she stumbles upon his holographic facsimile of her and is understandably horrified. She basically accuses Geordi of holo-rape.

Paramount Domestic Television

Paramount Domestic Television

Naturally, Geordi apologizes and asks for forgiv- kidding, he responds by yelling at her. Despite the fact that she feels "violated" by his icky behavior, he somehow acts as though he's the real victim because she was slightly rude to him earlier.

Paramount Domestic Television

Paramount Domestic Television

He claims that the only thing he's "guilty" of is offering her "friendship."

Paramount Domestic Television

Paramount Domestic Television

They end up working together in order to save the Enterprise, and in the end, she does indeed apologize to him. Shouldn't this have culminated with Geordi being dragged into Starfleet's HR department?

Paramount Domestic Television"Feel free to create a vacant-eyed holo-girlfriend in my image any time."

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