Pervs Will Love The New Holograms That Can Be Heard And Felt

You just know this amazing new technology will immediately be used for sex.
Pervs Will Love The New Holograms That Can Be Heard And Felt

Researchers at the University of Sussex have found a way to give holograms a rudimentary tactile sensation that also allows them to produce their own sound, two things that will absolutely lead to people trying to suss sex out of it someday soon.

They've accomplished this astonishing holographic feat not with lasers, but instead with a floating two-millimeter polystyrene bead levitated by transducers that emit ultrasonic soundwaves. The soundwaves can move one or a series of such beads up to 20 miles per hour, which is just fast enough to create an image suspended in midair. For now, this scientific marvel can produce basic geometric shapes and insects, which will undoubtedly be followed by gaggles of perverts forming a realistic sex organ that you'll do all sorts of wild stuff to.

The incredible technology's ultrasonic frequencies can also make the beads vibrate to produce sounds audible to the human ear, which means that ASMR weirdos don't have to worry about being left behind in this brave horny future.

If it was in front of you right now, you could experience the wonder of feeling the flapping of a holographic butterfly's wings, that in no time will be replaced by the flapping sensation emanating off of a vulva, meaty set of testicles, or whatever bodyparts that thirsty nerds of tomorrow will replicate to fornicate.

The technology is still in its infancy. There's still a lot of development and genius brainwork needed before anything even remotely like this reaches the mass-market. And there's still a matter of how you prevent the beads from entering urethras and birth canals without acting like a shrapnel grenade. But once these kinks are worked out, you'll be able to have sex with any dead celebrity hologram you can illegally download off of a torrent site.

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's And listen for his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast.

For more, check out The Poster For Michael Bay's New Movie Is Pristine Stupidity and Holy Crap, 'Cats' Cost An Insane Amount Of Money.

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