With the opening of Galaxy's Edge, Disney's Star Wars theme park, millions of fans are making the pilgrimage to California to finally find out how bad a closed X-Wing cockpit smells. But those hoping they could do so while lugging around 100 pounds of Stormtrooper armor will be sorely disappointed, as Disney doesn't allow visitors over the age of 14 to dress up. That's a bold move aimed at a fanbase famous for its extensive cosplay culture, and whose average nerd is old enough to remember how to work a rotary phone.

Sorry, You Can't Cosplay In Disney's Star Wars Park
The Walt Disney Corporation
For maximum verisimilitude, the official Batuu web page claims its atmosphere is 4% Cheetos dust.

As per Disneyland-wide rules, adult guests aren't allowed to dress up as settings-appropriate characters, which means no cosplaying in Batuu as a Stormtrooper, Rebel pilot, or Grand Moff Tarkin. You're not even allowed to wear the official Jedi robes you can buy in the park. The reason for this has nothing to do with copyright issues, but branding. Disney parks are chock full of mascots (or "cast members"), with Galaxy's Edge populating entire Star Wars villages with their own Rebel scum.

So while it's crazy to not let Star Wars fans cosplay, it wouldn't be crazy to let Star Wars fans, a toxic fanbase that's split into factions out to ruin one another's experiences, dress exactly like Disney employees. That's how you wind up with a million angry parents demanding a refund because a Jedi Knight called their tween a feminazi SJW for liking Rey.

"Don't worry kids, being unlikable gatekeepers is our job, not a hobby."

But those feeling foam armor FOMO can take a page out of OG Disneyland fans, who've figured out a cosplay loophole. Made popular by the eponymous blog, "DisneyBounding" is the underfunded school play equivalent of cosplaying whereby people dress in regular street clothes which match the color scheme, style, and theme of their favorite Disney costumes. This removes any confusion with Disney staff while still allowing fans to dress up for the high ceremony of visiting a funfair in Florida. (There's presumably a subgroup of fans bounding as Donald Duck, but we're assuming that blog's behind a paywall.)

So for ardent Star Wars lovers who desperately want to stomp around as Stormtroopers, all they need to do is put on a white hoodie, white sneakers, and their mom's tight white jeans from when she followed KISS on tour, and they'll be able to roam Galaxy's Edge pretending it's Casual Friday at First Order HQ.

For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.

For more, check out No, J.K. Rowling, We Don't Want To Hear More Magic Trivia and Here's The WTF 9-Minute Trailer For 'Death Stranding' On PS4.

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