Warning: This article contains spoilers for the finale of Game Of Thrones, all of which you already know because you're currently on the internet.
Like a flaming great sword thrust through an illegitimate bastard, the finale of Game Of Thrones split the fanbase in half, with one side believing Benioff and Weiss should be on trial at the Hague for crimes against humanity, and the other half reassured that the entire eight-year epic was fully redeemed when Jon Snow pet that CGI dog one last time. But those who still felt that it was not what they hoped to get out of a Game Of Thrones ending may be able to siphon a wholesome catharsis out of the snarkiest of tributes.
Borrowing a page from '80s comedies, YouTuber Dan Olson posted a parody video on Twitter that gave many Game Of Thrones characters a well-deserved farewell through the magic of freeze frames and postscripts filling in the many blanks the show left us with. Now we can all relax in the knowledge that yes, Sam did eventually die of incompetence, and yes, Arya did find that new continent and immediately regretted never paying attention to her studies when trying to name it. In fact, all that was missing was Daario Naharis fist-pumping his way out of Mereen while "Don't You (Forget About Me)" plays in the background.
If you're wondering why this parody seems to scratch an itch that has been spreading through your body like wildfire since Season 6, the boffins over at Scientific American may have the answer. In an article published before the finale, academic Zeynep Tufekci notes that Game Of Thrones was once a rare TV show to focus on sociological storytelling, whereby the heroes had to cope with being cogs in a much bigger political machine that didn't care about their feelings and ambitions. But the further the show drifted from the books, the more it shifted to a typical Hollywood psychological story, where the heroes only fight the eye-patch-wearing bad guys because they killed their best friend, and they don't have to, say, deal with the Kingsguard staging a coup because they haven't been paid since Tywin Lannister died.
Which is why it feels like coming home when we read a blurb that finally addresses how Queen Sansa had to deal with all those starving peasants during the long winter. Or how Gendry got deposed as Lord Paramount of the Stormlands because the people there were still stanning for Stannis. Or what the effects of 200 years of austerity will be when King Bran realizes he has to pay off a continent's weight in gold to the Iron Bank. And as hilariously depressing that those endings seem, they're a lot closer to the things that really matter when you play the Game of Thrones.
That and the CGI dog, of course.After writing this article, Cedric Voets continued to make dumb jokes on Twitter until dying in a freak toaster accident in 2041.
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