Amazingly, the initial idea for Toht was more Skynet than Third Reich. Steven Spielberg originally envisioned Toht as a friggin' cyborg, complete with a glowing eye and a bionic arm that could transform into a machine gun or (if the situation called for it) a flamethrower. According to the director, Toht was to be "The Terminator before The Terminator" -- if the Terminator was an actual Nazi instead of just Austrian.

Paramount PicturesWhy Hitler is still putting all his faith in the "mythical artifact" plan when killer cyborgs are an option is never made clear.

Proving that the early '80s were a backward, topsy-turvy time, it was George Lucas who put a stop to this silly concept. Spielberg's "heavy-metal view of the character" was halted once George "put his foot down," telling Spielberg: "you're crossing out of one genre and into another." To be fair, this was several decades before the same dude would insist on throwing aliens into the selfsame series.

Presumably, because the filmmakers were hoping to scar a whole generation, originally the Stay Puft man didn't simply blow up, but turned into a terrifying giant demon.

Columbia Pictures

Yup, this skeletal creature was to be birthed from the sky like a haunted David Bowie lyric, then terrorize the Ghostbusters.

Columbia PicturesEverybody knows you can't have a goofy comedy without horrifying demons.

Either because this nightmarish development soured the film's comedic tone, or out of respect for America's multiplex custodial staff, who abhor cleaning urine out of seat cushions, the scene was ultimately cut. (Random wet dreams about necrophilia still got the green light, however.)

But in the script for DarKnight, Crane was to be Dick Grayson's teacher, who kidnaps and experiments on Batman's young ward simply because he mouthed off in class. After turning evil, Crane would then become horribly scarred, so after being stitched up, his "face becomes the scarecrow mask," which sounds unpleasant.

Bizarrely, this version of Crane also "suffers from a disease that prevents him from feeling physical pain." Because not feeling pain is a defining characteristic of scarecrows? Making this plot wrinkle extra goofy was its similarity to a lame '90s Bond villain.

Even in the official Star Wars novelization, Palpatine isn't referred to as a Force user, but a random politician. According to the prologue, he became resident after pledging to help the "disaffected" by restoring "the remembered glory of the Republic" -- kind of a "Make the Republic Great Again" strategy. Sadder still, Palpatine doesn't wield any real power, but rather is controlled by his assistants and "boot-lickers." Meaning that Darth Vader's boss was conceived as nothing but an impotent hack who couldn't even be bothered to learn how to shoot lightning from his fingertips.

The story doesn't end there, though. Remember Dick Halloran, the Overlook Hotel's cook and resident collector of erotic artwork? He shows up at the end, like in the movie. But as soon as he enters the hotel, he's intercepted by the ghostly bartender Lloyd and is immediately possessed. He's described in the outline as "an appalling figure of lunatic savagery," which sounds problematic, to say the least.

Warner Bros. PicturesSure, the book ends with with Hallorann saving Wendy and Danny from freezing to death, but this is 1977. The fellating dog-man will be cast as the hero before a black guy.

Wendy then has to become a "homicidal maniac" to save her son, because apparently picking up a knife to defend your small child from Satan's minions makes you clinically insane. In the end, Kubrick opted to have Wendy and Danny face off with their patriarch, which was far more thematically resonant than battling some chef they'd previously met for like ten minutes.

Surprisingly, this nefarious character owes his existence to the same (non-alcoholic) thing that makes children's birthday parties tolerable: ice cream. Yup, comic book legend Joe Simon was indulging in a hot fudge sundae when either he was struck with inspiration or whatever drug people did in the 1940s kicked in. Simon started seeing shapes in the dripping hot fudge, which "looked like limbs -- legs, feet and hands." Simon thought that this frozen dessert character would make for a good supervillain, literally called "Hot Fudge." He would basically be an anthropomorphic glob of ice cream who could "ooze all over the place."

Simon drew some sketches, and it didn't take long for him to realize that while ice cream is a good nemesis for fitness and mobility, it's not necessarily the best opponent for Captain America. Fortunately for pop culture, he wasn't done mining his dessert for inspiration. He soon noticed the cherry on top of the sundae looked a little like a human skull, giving him the idea for Red Skull -- presumably after his brainstorming for "Holger the Cherry-Faced SS Officer" went nowhere.

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