But our world has something a lot more dangerous for ice: ExxonMobil. Our climate is shifting, our elected officials are too busy getting handjobs from lobbyists to care, we've only got a decade to turn things around, and an iceberg the size of Delaware recently split off Antarctica. And if the earthers have got this right, our oceans -- and everything floating in them -- are destined to be slurped into space with a comical "blowing a raspberry" noise.
Even if it turns out we're living on a flat Earth and we stop climate change (both equally unlikely possibilities, if we're honest), the ice wall still wouldn't be safe. As we noted in a previous article, the circular shape of our planet helps protect us from solar radiation. If that goes bye-bye, that ice wall (and us) will die in agony.
Man, a flat Earth sounds terrible. Why do people believe in this? Why not simply pretend Hogwarts is real? That sounds way more fun.