Tom Hanks' Son Is A Failed Rapper Who Loves The N-Word
Being Tom Hanks' son automatically puts you on the whiteness scale alongside microbrewing, suspenders, and New Balance sneakers. But while Colin Hanks embraces this by directing documentaries about Tower Records and starring in CBS sitcoms, Hanks' other son, Chester, is the blackface sheep of the family.
Rapper Chester Hanks, aka "Chet Haze," often acts like an OG thug on social media, posing with guns and starting beefs with other prominent hip-hop artists like ... Howard Stern? In 2015, Bad Hanks threatened the shock jock on several occasions, tweeting about how he was going to whoop Stern's sexagenarian ass, adding "I AM A WALKING PR DISASTER!"
Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for BETWhich is also his nickname in the Hanks family manor.
And of course, Chester loves to say the N-word. A lot. In his lyrics, on Twitter ... he probably says it when he's making himself a sandwich. When confronted, he has clapped back by asserting, "I do say the n word in real life amongst my black friends," which might be the whitest thing anyone has ever said without spluttering it through a mouthful of oysters at the raw bar of the local yacht club. Chester continued by qualifying that he has "no disrespect to the struggle of black ppl during the civil rights movement but it's 2015 now" -- which, as we all remember, was the year zombie Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. rose from the grave and declared that white people could now say the N-word as much as they like.
Since then, Chester has turned a corner, by which we mean his rap career has hit a dead end. Having reflected, he now feels bad for his behavior and blames it on his prodigious drug use. He attributes his recent sobriety to his parents, who were there for him "every step of the way." So at least he did one thing right with his life: He made Tom Hanks look even better.
Barack Obama's Half-Brother Is A Right-Wing Troll
For most of their lives, Malik and Barack Obama were as close as transcontinental half-brothers could be, even acting as best men at each other's weddings (one of Malik's 12 weddings, anyway). But when Barack became president of the United States, Malik wanted in on the ride. Without his brother's blessing, he tried to act as an unofficial representative in Kenya, even trying a run for governor. He got 1 percent of the vote. Malik then grew bitter and angry at his important brother, in part because Barack had helped bring down "one of his best friends" -- that is, Muammar Gaddafi.