A new, presumably final trailer for the highly anticipated bladder endurance test Avengers: Endgame hit the internet today. It doesn't give us a whole lot to go on. There are a lot of flashbacks to previous Marvel movies, but with the color drained save for red -- either a stylistic choice, or a coded reference to Marvel's communist sympathies.
But if you really want some clues about how Endgame will play out, you have to pay attention to the haircuts and outfits. First off there's Black Widow. At the end of the trailer, when Captain Marvel shows up, Natasha is sporting the same blonde bob she wore in Infinity War.
Later she has a longer, darker blonde hairstyle while firing off rounds at a target that is disappointingly not Thanos-shaped.
In other scenes her hair is longer still, and back to its familiar red coloring.
All of which implies that the movie will span years, confirming the time jump Gwyneth Paltrow accidentally blabbed about. Even Hawkeye's look changes, eventually showing up with a new hairdo seemingly styled by Super-Midlife-Crisis Cuts.
Then there are the outfits. In the trailer's closing moments, the Avengers assemble wearing new costumes, implying they're either heading off for a final confrontation with Thanos or doing some team-building at a suburban laser tag joint.
Some have pointed out that these suits aren't aesthetically dissimilar from the one Hank Pym donned to enter the Quantum Realm ...
Meaning that, as fans have speculated, the psychedelic microscopic dimension seen in the Ant-Man films may be the key to stopping Thanos and necromancing all of their buddies back into their lucrative franchises where they belong, dammit.
You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter!
Support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Follow us on Facebook. Excelsior!
Sometimes the stories after the stories are even stranger.
For as much as people love them, the 'Star Wars' movies have gotten rather awkward from time to time.
Bawitdaba, pass the green beans.
Going for that 16th minute.