6 More Blockbusters That Looked Hilarious Behind The Scenes
Without elaborate special effects, movies would be relegated solely to examining the human condition and grappling with the purpose of existence. Thankfully, technology is so advanced that we don't have to deal with that shit. Hollywood is free to cram its products with as many explosions, space battles, and crime-fighting Pokemon as possible. While visual effects get more convincing, at the same time, actors' jobs are becoming more and more ridiculous. Even some of the most mind-blowing spectacles are straight-up goofy as hell behind the scenes. Look at how ...
Solo -- Those Alien Dogs Were Real Dogs
Ever since Disney got its white-gloved hands on the series, the Star Wars movies have focused more and more on practical effects, from the puppetry of BB-8 to the animatronic Porgs. Then again, they also literally used computers to raise a man from the dead, so maybe we should call it a wash. The recent Solo: A Star Wars Story similarly employed some pretty old-school techniques. And we're not just talking about how they actually cast a younger dude as Han Solo instead of, say, using CGI to paste in clips of Harrison Ford from Air Force One.
Take those Coreillian Hounds that chase Han Solo around like he's a space-mailman. They're basically the closest we're likely to get to an H.R. Giger remake of Homeward Bound.
On set? They were regular dogs in silly costumes. Since its a Star Wars movie, we're all impressed, but seriously, if your Nana did this, you'd put her in a home.
You might even recognize two of the dogs. Not because all dogs look kind of the same, but because two of them, Saxon and Elsa, played direwolves on Game Of Thrones. This furthers our fan theory that Solo isn't canon, but rather all takes place in Jon Snow's coma nightmare.
Related: 8 Movies That Looked Hilarious (Before The CGI Was Added)
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom -- The Dinosaurs Were Dudes
The Jurassic Park series has always wowed audiences with its groundbreaking effects, even though some of those shots of dinosaurs hunting children were in fact of guys in raptor shoes probably regretting their Julliard tuition. The most recent entry in the franchise that won't stop until Jeff Goldblum's beach house is fully renovated, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, used similar techniques. Sure, there's a lot of CGI in there, but there are also a lot of random guys in awkward dinosaur costumes. Remember Chris Pratt's raptor BFF, Blue?
In reality, Blue was this dude, and their unspoken bond was likely the result of a shared passion for cargo shorts.
And the terrifying new Indoraptor, the genetic mash-up of velociraptor, Indominus Rex, and the sweat of a desperate screenwriter? Sometimes it was this guy wielding a giant claw.
For other scenes, the Indoraptor was represented by a guy carrying a giant dinosaur head, followed by a guy with a giant dinosaur tail, like some kind of abstract prehistoric pantomime horse.
Related: 8 On-Set Photos That Break The Spell Of Famous Horror Films
How Are The Fantastic Beasts Somehow Even Worse In Person?
We're not going to rehash the argument over whether J.K. Rowling should have left the Harry Potter universe alone ... and that even if she didn't, she shouldn't have written prequels ... especially not ones focused on an annoying, floppy-haired zoologist with a suitcase full of equally irritating creatures. We're not going to do that. Somehow, though, the magical animals from the Fantastic Beasts series look even more off-putting behind-the-scenes -- if such a thing is possible.
Take the Zouwu. In the movie, it looked like a cross between Falkor from The Neverending Story and whatever monster dwells in Brad Pitt's shower trap. On set, it was a guy in a leotard holding what looks like a sack of soiled laundry that's sprouted dreadlocks.
And the Thunderbird, the majestic creature which we'll one day learn from Rowling's Twitter feed transforms into a vintage muscle car at night? Nothing but a dude with a puppet head. Even the guy who played ALF put in more of an effort.
As for the glowing, tentacled Marmite (at this point, Rowling is seemingly Keyser Soze-ing kitchen items for names), it turns out to be a sad, glowing sack, presumably full of the regrets of every '90s rave kid.
Still, you can't help but admire the work of the visual effects artists, especially the ones who had to painstakingly edit out the bangles that have permanently fused with Johnny Depp.
Related: 6 Famous Movie Moments That Look Hilarious With CGI Removed
Christopher Robin Was Less Magical In Real Life
For those who cherish the tales of Winnie The Pooh, but always wished it was more full of crushing regret and existential despair, Disney gave us Christopher Robin. In it, the lovable titular tyke grows up and abandons his friends from the Hundred Acre Wood -- who, by the way, aren't simply figments of his imagination, but actual sentient beings who are discarded like tattered old copies of Playboy.
To simulate the effect of a handful of mistreated childhood toys coming to life, Pooh and the gang were represented on set by stuffed animals propped up on metal rods which are probably metaphors for our childhood or some crap.
Other times, they were grey blobs being unceremoniously shoved in Ewan MacGregor's face.
And for the scenes where Pooh had to walk somewhere, the filmmakers opted to go for the decidedly less-magical "Dismembered blue torso on wheels Pooh."
Related: 5 More Movies That Look Deranged With The Special FX Removed
Ant-Man And The Wasp Was Even Goofier Without CGI
After the previous entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe forced moviegoers to slowly shuffle out of the multiplex in silence with images of galactic genocide dancing in their brains, fans were probably ready for some more lighthearted material. That's where Ant-Man And The Wasp came in. Thankfully set before Thanos got all snap-happy, the movie was full of adventure, humor, and the vague sensation that Paul Rudd is somehow sucking the life force out of all of us in some unholy bid to stay youthful forever.
But as whimsical as it was, behind the scenes, things looked even wackier. For example, the sequence wherein Scott Lang is shrunk down to Hobbit size required filming with an appropriately proportioned double in a lime-colored hazmat suit.
Then they filmed Rudd separately being handed a giant knapsack by the world's least impressed crew guy.
Then they threw him in an oversized sweatshirt and had him run down a flight of pretend stairs.
Related: 8 Serious Hollywood Scenes That Look Hilarious With No CGI
Venom Was A Lot Of Tom Hardy Gyrating
Venom, Tom Hardy's latest attempt to star in a major motion picture while obscuring his face as much as humanly possible, finds him being taken over by an evil gooey alien. (It's an adaptation of Marvel comics, not a promotional tie-in with the mysterious substance on the floor of the movie theater.) Filming the scenes in which Hardy transforms into Venom required him to gyrate wildly on an empty sound stage like he was performing some kind of avant garde modern dance.
Yeah, apparently he had to do this a bunch.
Venom can hit people with tentacles of black goo, like some kind of a Play-Doh set for emo kids. In reality, Hardy had to mime the actions while his enemies acted as if they'd been physically attacked. The resulting footage looks a drunken Jedi frat party.
Or like a telekinetic intern who got fed up with their entire I.T. department.
You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.
Support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
For more, check out Old Movies Used To Just Shoot Real Bullets At People:
The first-ever Cracked Podcast LIVE TOUR is coming to a city near (some of) you this spring! Tickets on sale now for Chicago IL (April 11th) and St. Paul MN (April 12th).
Follow us on Facebook. If you like jokes and stuff.