It took a few well-publicized serial attacks, along with some help from Hollywood, to turn a species just trying to mind its own business into a national phobia.
It's easy to forget that celebrities are still people. People who could crush you on a whim, but still. They have their non-crushing hopes, dreams, and hobbies, and sometimes those things are bizarre. And sometimes those bizarre interests end up on Instagram for everyone to enjoy. Because when you do something weird online, it's just creepy; when the rich and famous do it, it's adorable. Like how ...
Hugh Jackman Posts The Creation And Destruction Of Jigsaw Puzzles
Hugh Jackman, like many older men, enjoys whiling away the hours with jigsaw puzzles. A good puzzle can make "evening oatmeal and grump at the news" time arrive before you know it, and when it's complete, your hours of hard work are rewarded with a picture identical to the one that was already on the box. What's not to love? You can keep up with Hugh's jigsaw progress on his Instagram, along with updates on his films and which butterscotch candy brands he's giving to his visiting grandchildren these days ...
... and then you can watch him immediately destroy his finished creations like the spiteful Old Testament God.
Jackman calls the act "pleasure and pain" before cackling like a child melting ants with a magnifying glass. He doesn't even bother letting the completed puzzle gather dust on his dining room for a few days before going to town on it. What's the deal, man? Are you trying to make a profound artistic statement about the inevitable decay of all creative work? Or do you just like smashing shit? Because we'll start fervent petitions to get you in more action movies if it means you'll stop doing musicals.
Britney Spears Keeps Posting Her Kids' Dragon Ball Art
Britney Spears spends half of her time on Instagram reminding you of why you had a crush on her when you were growing up ...
... and then the other half reminding you that she's now a mom of two, and you're now old and creepy.
And thanks to the magic of social media, we now know that one of Spears' sons is in a serious Dragon Ball phase. Don't worry, kid, it happens to everyone.
It's cute and wholesome that Spears happily shares her son's art, but imagine heading off to college knowing that your famous mom shared your DBZ doodles with the world alongside emoji-filled compliments. Hope you're ready for your son getting 500 pictures of Goku dumped in his dorm room, Britney.
Drake's Dad Embarrasses His Son, Can't Take A Proper Selfie
Dennis Graham has had an eclectic music career, but his work has long been overshadowed by that of his son, noted rap star and meme factory Drake. Going by Drake's lyrics, their relationship is complicated, but these days Graham seems to be aiming for "supportive while embarrassing and out of touch." For starters, he can't take a goofy selfie without catching the reflection of his phone or computer ...
... and he dresses like a PSA about midlife crises.
But it's when he's talking about Drake that he really shines, because the superlatives he lavishes on him are indistinguishable from the praise grandparents give grandchildren who manage to hit over half the notes at their junior high band recital.
No matter how loving and well-intentioned, posts like "no one could be more proud than I am love you unconditionally baby boy" followed by over a dozen emojis is enough to get anyone wedgied. It's tough to look intimidating in your rap beefs when your dad is talking like he's about to get you a Happy Meal to take your mind off your boo-boo.
Graham also has a touch of troll in him. He once misled his followers into thinking that Drake's new album would be released early, and when his own new song shockingly didn't do as well as he'd hoped, he posted, "I will be deleting my so called friends on Instagram who hasn't purchased my 1.29 Kinda Crazy single how cheap can friends be have a nice life!!!!!! as of midnight tonight you will be a faded memory" before deleting the post and claiming it was a "reverse psychology" marketing tactic. Here's how he presents himself in that music video, by the way:
You can almost hear Drake pleading "Daaad, you're embarrassing me!" just looking at it.
Pink Posts Her Kids Galivanting Around Her Concert Venues And Fancy Hotels
Pink, aka P!nk, aka "Yes, I'm claiming an entire color, deal with it," rose to prominence by starting the most early 2000s party ever. But it's tough to keep starting parties once you've acquired two kids and a nagging pain in your back, which is why her brand has moved from "wild don't-give-a-fuck fun lover" to "perpetually exhausted but upbeat mom who tries to include her kids in everything."
So like half of your social media feeds, Pink is mostly about her kids, but unlike most of your social media acquaintances, Pink is loaded and seemingly on one long, never-ending tour to bring her music to wooing fans around the world. As a result, her kids get to play rock star every day.
Remember, nothing is better for your hip, have-it-all mom brand than true love. Plus you can use a whimsical picture of your kids as the cover for your Greatest Hits album one day!
Most of her posts are loaded with dorky hashtags like "#sage #cleansemysoul #lovemyvillage #dressingroomslookalotdifferentthesedays," because at this point in her career, there aren't a lot of differences between Pink and your hippy aunt who makes her own wax. (All jokes aside, we do desperately want her to adopt us.)
Mick Jagger Leaves Dorky Dad Comments All Over His Son's Instagram Posts
Noted immortal Mick Jagger has eight children, five grandchildren, one great-grandchild, and more pull at 75 than most of us did in our 20s. And while Jagger is the archetype of a rocker who will never stop rocking, he's gone full dad on his son Lucas' Instagram.
Lucas Jagger/Instagram
Lucas Jagger/Instagram
"Looks like fun," Jagger pointlessly comments, presumably while waiting for the crowd demanding his encore to prove their love and take it up a few decibels. Jagger is one slow afternoon of award-polishing away from calling up all of his progeny and asking about the status of their refrigerators.
Lucas Jagger/Instagram
What do you even say in response to that? You just have to keep quietly getting trolled by Mick Jagger until he returns to his home planet on the stroke of his 175th birthday.
Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Unfortunately, thanks to centuries of misinformation in scholarly histories and in popular culture, most people suffer from a variety of misconceptions about the Vikings, from who they were to when they were active to what, exactly, they did.
0 
0 
Mark Hill
