To lessen this man-made erosion, Sardinian police are now cracking down, issuing massive fines of up to 3,000 Euros (about $3,500) to any beach-goer who tries to leave the country with sand on their person or in their luggage -- which surely is all of them, since that stuff gets everywhere. They're not fooling around, either, having already fined someone 1,000 Euros ($1,150) for illegally smuggling some precious hourglass fuel. Sardinian residents welcome the policy, as they hate the fat cat tourists "taking from the island what nature took millions of years to create." They even have vigilantes patrolling the beaches looking to stop sand crime. And if that doesn't really sound that intimidating, now you know why Batman only fights crime in alleyways at night and doesn't waddle around the sun-dappled dunes with Bat-sunscreen on his nose.
But it's never too late to repent. When news of Sardinia's crackdowns reached one woman who had taken some pink sand from one of its island offshoots 29 years prior, she sent back the sand with an apology note. We can only hope she took her respect for island culture a bit too far, and at this very moment, there's a message in a pink bottle bobbing around the Mediterranean.
For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
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The flow of time is cruel to us all.
- By Mark Hill
- April 12, 2019