5 Villainous Movie Organizations That Were Actually Pretty Incompetent

Seriously, what is their strategy, beyond creating cool visuals? Are they worried they won't be able to line up a shot? Because Kong is 104 feet tall and their guns have an effective firing range of up to 1,200 yards when trying to hit a human. They don't have to get within swatting distance to do some damage. Any King Kong movie should realistically end with Kong dying in a hail of gunfire from offscreen vehicles. And it's even worse in movies with modern technology. In Pacific Rim and Cloverfield, the Air Force attacks land-bound aliens with modern fighter jets by flying between the monsters' freakin' legs.

That's about a step away from the Air Force strapping an F-14 onto the back of a pickup truck and driving at them. In modern dogfights, the weaponry has such long range that planes typically never even see each other. Yet when a monster the size of the Golden Gate Bridge appears, the Air Force's highest priority is to get an aerial view of the thing's taint.

So ... why don't they simply wear some hoodies? We know this is a usable workaround, because earlier Neville does exactly that. He needed a mutant to study, so he went out in broad daylight, threw a blanket over one's head, and pulled it into the sunlight unharmed. We see it's only direct sunlight that causes damage, not general exposure to the outdoors. A big, sturdy parasol would open up the entire city for these guys. And even if they couldn't figure any of that out, why not throw something at Neville? He's literally just hanging there. They're smart enough to manipulate him with a mannequin and rig a complex trap using a pulley system and cars, but they never considered the possibility of chucking spears or a few big rocks as he hung there unconscious for hours?

This was not a regular zoo animal. The Indominous Rex was raised in captivity inside of his corral. There was never a reason for it to leave. If it ever needed medical treatment or something, just sedate it and treat it where it's safely secured. Everyone on the island is surprised when the dinosaur escapes, but that's like being shocked when your dog bolts out the doggy door. It's ridiculous that at no point an engineer said, "Maybe this door should be human-sized, since only humans will ever use it. R-right, guys?"

There are dozens of better plans. If you're such a powerful pharmaceutical company that makes such dangerous drugs, why not poison Kimble? Or why not stab him in a Taco Bell bathroom and make it look like a classic case of Doritos Locos madness? Whatever you do, don't let yourself into his house with one of his keys, engage him in combat with one arm, and forget his freaking wife exists. Absolutely anything is better than that.

Maybe this crew was particularly effective, or maybe they were a lot of fun during post-heist Applebee's happy hour, but from what we see in the first two heists, the only skills required are driving like crazy, which Baby has covered, and pointing guns at people while screaming loudly. There's nothing special or unique about this team, besides the fact that two of them are utterly unhinged -- and surprise, that's why the job goes to hell.

Doc also sends his team of maniacs to buy guns from crooked cops without bothering to tell them about the "cop" part, leading the crew to the somewhat reasonable assumption that this was all a sting, which results in a giant, wasteful shootout.

It's like it was everybody's first day doing crime, and none of them paid attention during the training.

Jordan Breeding also writes for a whole mess of other people, the Twitter, and a weird amount of gas station bathrooms.

Get to writing your own incompetent baddies with a beginner's guide to Celtx.

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For more harebrained baddies, check out 6 Stupid Things Movie Villains Did (For No Apparent Reason) and The 6 Stupidest Plots Of Supposedly Smart Movie Villains.

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