In 1982, after 14 years of turbulent marriage, Denver was living in his guest cabin (the folksiest of divorced dad domiciles) while he and his then-wife Annie Martell (of Annie's Song fame) were separating. One day, after returning to his home in Colorado, he noticed that Martell had cut down a few of his oak trees while he'd been away. Denver really loved those old oak trees, and felt that his wife had made a mistake. So he calmly walked into the house and told her, "You shouldn't have done that." A very mature thing to do, except that he was also holding a chainsaw.

Denver decided to pay her back in kind by cutting everything in their house in half. He chainsawed the table. He chainsawed the kitchen. He very symbolically chainsawed their marital bed. After destroying his entire house (really chainsawing his nose to spite his face), the singer-songwriter tried to strangle his wife. He later admitted, ''Before I knew it, I had her on the kitchen counter and my hands were around her throat. And I stopped. I had almost lost control but didn't.''

Y-you didn't? You define a chainsaw rampage and attempted strangling as being "in control"?

In May of 1963, Lennon and legendary Beatles manager Brian Epstein took a very private trip together to sunny Barcelona. Rumors quickly started flying that the two might be having a bit of a romance, which infuriated Lennon. He finally exploded during Paul McCartney's 21st birthday party, when Bob Wooler, a friend of Lennon (and the one who introduced the Beatles to Epstein), jokingly teased Lennon by saying, "Come on, John, tell me about you and Brian. We all know." That's it. That's the whole quote.

John responded the only way a sensitive artist could: by brutally beating the man to a pulp.

While Wooler was "begging him to stop," Lennon kept punching, kicking, and beating him with a stick like he was a human pinata. Lennon later admitted that he was thinking, "I could kill this guy," and he said that it took him a while before he regained some clarity. In the meantime, Lennon had thoroughly messed up Wooler's face and rib cage, though he did make a full recovery. Jesus, he's lucky he didn't ask if Lennon "had a good time" -- he'd have been made a stain on the sidewalk.

Which it turns out is also just like Tobey Maguire.

Bloom recalled that after winning big during one of her games, Maguire pretended to tip her with a thousand-dollar chip to show his gratitude. But when she went to get it, he decided that he would only give it to her if she were to bark like a seal in front of everyone. Maguire played these weird moves constantly, aggressively pressuring Bloom into humiliating herself for his pleasure. Bloom always refused to do his bidding, however, so if there's any consolation here, let it be that Tobey Maguire may not be as nice as he seems on screen, but he is just as impotent.

His former staffers were glad to see Murphy go, since he, along with his loyal chief of staff, were responsible for creating a working environment so hostile that it made the first hour of Full Metal Jacket look like In The Army Now.

Chief of staff Susan Mosychuk was the Captain Phasma to Ryan's General Hux, helping to nurture a climate of fear practically unheard of outside a parent/teacher conference with Alec Baldwin. She constantly berated her workers, belittled their efforts, and called them "garbage." Meanwhile, Ryan himself possessed "an inability to communicate without expressions of rage, criticisms or insults" -- and that's saying something, considering that the above quote comes from Mosychuk herself.

Mosychuk lost her $168,411 salary when Murphy was forced to resign from public office in disgrace as a result of the abortion fiasco. So what does the future hold for the former representative? Well, presumably he'll be returning to his previous career ... as a clinical psychologist.