6 Perfect Crimes That Got Foiled By Stupid Accidents

6

A 10-Million-Pound Heist Was Foiled By Inconsiderate Parking

In February 2000, in a busy area of South London, three trucks roared to life and shot across a road, boxing in an armored car containing 10 million pounds in cash. Armed men jumped out and secured the area, hopefully accompanied by a pulsing guitar soundtrack. Then they went to get their secret weapon: a fourth truck, loaded with Christmas trees. Beneath the protruding trees was a huge steel spike welded to the chassis. The thieves planned to use the spike-truck as a monstrous battering ram to break into the armored van. It was the best use of Christmas trees as weapons since Deck The Halls

But don't call Michael Mann just yet (or do, maybe he's lonely). The thieves had left the spike-truck alone on the road while they secured the armored car, blocking the vehicle of a clueless local commuter who chose that exact moment to go to work. Enraged that some Christmas tree delivery guys were boxing him in -- in February -- he reached through the open window and took the keys out of their ignition.

Unable to start the spike-truck, the thieves set it on fire and escaped in a speedboat, because apparently England is exactly the way it's depicted in Bond movies. Still, police tracked them down and put the gang under surveillance, which revealed that they were planning an even more audacious heist: using a modified backhoe to smash their way into the De Beers diamond exhibition at London's Millennium Dome, stealing a cache which included the famed Millennium Star diamond, and covering their escape (again, via speedboat) with smoke bombs.

The plan had a chance to succeed. Regular security at the Dome consisted of some elderly guards and one teenager, who were surely an interesting team in their own right. But thanks to the surveillance, the Dome was full of 200 undercover police officers, and the gems had been replaced with decoy fakes, allowing the frankly over-dramatic thieves to be arrested with ease.

5

A Hollywood-Style Heist Failed Because Of A Tiny Mistake On A Bank Form

The Sumitomo Mitsui job was like a greatest hits compilation of British crime movies. No, really: The plan was developed by a gangster turned self-styled British aristocrat, as well as a cockney crime lord operating out of a London sex shop, and those are literally the villains from Layer Cake and Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels.

City of London PoliceThat included Lord Hugh Rodley, seen here taking time from his busy schedule of lowering tuxedo-clad spies into shark tanks.

4

An Elaborate Art Heist Was Derailed By A Flat Tire

The 1991 Van Gogh Museum heist should have been one of the greatest in history. The thieves installed one of their own as a security guard, who allowed another to hide in a bathroom stall after the museum closed. After crouching on a toilet until 3 a.m., the thief emerged waving a gun and took the whole security team hostage, which is a good robbery plan and an even better Dulcolax commercial.

3

A Dramatic Midair Heist Failed Because Airport Workers Didn't Handle Luggage With Care

On the grand pyramid of cool heists, the midair heist is pretty much right at the top, behind only "underwater," "shrink ray," and "space." But when some London thieves learned that a British Airways flight would be transporting millions in cash, they launched a plan so daring that the prosecutor even had to beg the jury not to "become distracted with admiration" for the "bold and daring ... James Bond adventure."

City of London Police“I would like to remind the court that being rad as fuck is not established grounds for leniency.”

2

The Million-Dollar Fajita Black Market Was Foiled By A Single Sick Day

In 2017, Gilberto Escamilla was arrested for stealing fajitas from work. It happens to the best of us. But Escamilla wasn't some disgruntled busboy sticking it to Applebee's one beefy tortilla at a time. He was a civil servant who snaked a truly staggering $1.2 million in fajitas from the Juvenile Justice Department in Cameron County, Texas. And the best part? The Cameron County Juvenile Justice Department didn't even serve fajitas.

1

The Carder Kingpin Who Was Caught Because Of Half-Life 2

Max Butler, a hacker known as "Iceman," ran the biggest credit card theft ring ever. He unified many of the underground carder forums and markets in the world. Butler had it all going for him: military-grade encryption, a brilliant mind, and associates laundering the constant, massive stream of money they were making. But he was done with all that. Max was ready to retire and live a simple life with his girlfriend, a woman presumably unaware that she was sleeping with a person who called himself "Iceman."

Santa Clara County SheriffWe’re guessing this Iceman engaged in a lot less shirtless volleyball than his namesake.

But there was a glitch. Jonathan Giannone, a 21-year-old who had worked with Butler, was caught in 2006 for selling card dumps. After he was found guilty, Giannone spilled the beans on Iceman. His undoing turned out to be a private conversation with Giannone in which the master hacker told the young man about a time he had been a suspect in an investigation about the hacking of the source code of Half-Life 2. Only two people from the U.S. popped up when searching the incident on the FBI's database. Max Butler was one. The rest played out like the end of The Wolf Of Wall Street, except instead of a few months playing tennis, Butler was sentenced to 13 years in federal prison.

13.

1 and 3.

1 x 3 = 3.

Half-Life 3 confirmed.

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