The 5 Saddest Attempts By Celebrities To Hang On To Fame

5

Farrah Abraham Wrote A Novel To Accompany Her "Leaked" Sex Tape

Farrah Abraham had a lucrative career as a pregnant teen, but it only lasted as long as she was both pregnant and a teen. When the MTV gravy train ran dry, she did everything you'd expect from a listless 20-something whose livelihood rested on the atrocity of American sex education. She released an album called My Teenage Dream Ended, then an autobiography of the same name, then she hit the washed-up celebrity reality TV circuit. Now, the next logical step here is usually Celebrity Squares, but Farrah opted for something a bit less embarrassing: pornography. But not even in a respectable, forthright way -- no, it just so happened that her studio-production sex tape with famous porn star James Deen "leaked" online.

Vivid EntertainmentAnd then "leaked" a sequel.

To prove that she was totally shocked and humiliated by the whole incident, she wrote an erotic companion novel. Kind of like the Star Wars expanded universe, but with slightly more dongs and slightly worse writing. We can't reprint, well, any sentence from the book without committing a crime against literature, but it's basically a blow by blow account of her encounter with Deen, related as clinically and passionlessly as an overworked gynecologist would. But in the book they have different names, so it's totally fiction, you guys. Just a nice little story with no relation to that thing she never intended anyone to see, swearsies.

4

Sisqo Released An "Updated" Version Of "Thong Song" For 2017

Sisqo was 1999 incarnate. He's what would happen if you mixed Carson Daly's hair gel and Britney Spears's body glitter together in Missy Elliott's trash bag. He had exactly one smash hit -- "Thong Song" -- and for a certain demographic, the tune still brings a single margarita-salty tear to the eye. Sisqo hung his whole career on that song, because the only other career he tried was acting, and we've all seen Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Season 6, Episode 1. We know how that turned out.

Viacom ProductionsWe couldn’t find video, but he gets out-acted by the talking cat puppet.

3

After Baseball, Babe Ruth Did A Vaudeville "Show"

Babe Ruth was legendary at almost everything he did. Almost. He had a fairly disastrous game in the 1926 World Series that brought his career to a halt, but Ruth didn't dwell on that low point for long. Instead, he embarked on a three-month tour on the Vaudeville circuit. Wow, who could have known that the Great Bambino was as talented a showman as he was an athlete?

2

Morton Downey Jr. Pretended To Be Attacked By Nazis

If you've ever been thankful for the high-quality programming of Howard Stern and Jerry Springer, send a card to Morton Downey Jr. (No relation to Robert.) Downey is often credited as one of the great pioneers of "loudmouth" television, but as viewers grew bored with his "zip it" catchphrase and advertisers grew wary of hawking their products via dry-humping strippers, his ratings began to plummet.

1

Michael Phelps "Raced The Shark"

Michael Phelps has won a record 28 medals over his Olympic career. But recall that back in 2009, right after he first gained fame, sponsors dropped him en masse when we was caught on film hitting a bong like an Arizona State undergrad. Like that, Phelps' career path was on a downturn. Until that fateful day when he decided to race a shark ...

Discovery ChannelSort of. Kind of. But not really. At all.