Desperate to save his career, Morton devised a plan: He claimed to be attacked by Nazis, who apparently hated his show because it was so real, man. To this end, he came running out of a San Francisco airport with a half-shaved head and a swastika painted on his face, screaming about a savage Nazi restroom attack. (Which, yes, is available if your punk band needs a name.) Curiously, airport police never found any perpetrators, but they did find that Morton's swastika was backwards. You know, as if somebody had painted it on themselves. Say, in a bathroom mirror.
WWOR-TVSeems weird for a guy Nazis should’ve loved.
Tragically, the publicity stunt wasn't enough to save his show, and Downey was never able to reclaim the spotlight. Nazis, on the other hand, seem to be doing quite well these days.
Michael Phelps "Raced The Shark"
Michael Phelps has won a record 28 medals over his Olympic career. But recall that back in 2009, right after he first gained fame, sponsors dropped him en masse when we was caught on film hitting a bong like an Arizona State undergrad. Like that, Phelps' career path was on a downturn. Until that fateful day when he decided to race a shark ...
Discovery ChannelSort of. Kind of. But not really. At all.
Phelps had agreed to take part in Discovery Channel's annual Shark Week festivities by starring in a production called Phelps vs. Shark: Great Gold vs. Great White. Hyped as a contest between man and beast off the coast of South Africa, Phelps would test his mettle in a 100-meter race against an apex predator. But it wasn't a side by side, breaststroke-for-your-life situation, like many had hoped, nor did the producers talk him into going ahead and jumping over the shark with a motorcycle. Instead, he faced off against a CGI replica of an outsized Carcharodon carcharias.
Discovery ChannelMaking it almost the least-real thing ever to run during Shark Week.
The internet, as it is wont to do, exploded in brief but furious indignation that they were denied a front-row seat to the horrible death of a master Olympian. But when all was said and done, Phelps did set yet another record. The show garnered more viewers than any other Shark Week production in history. Then he mostly did appearances on daytime talk shows to promote Colgate's "Every Drop Counts" environmental campaign. Which may have something to do with spilled bong water? We'll have to check.
Jordan Breeding also writes for Paste Magazine, the Twitter, himself, and wishes he had some fame to desperately cling to.
Sharks are at their best in blimp form and steered by humans, in case you had an incredible itch for one of your own.
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