Inventor of Substitute Phones Is Too Optimistic About Humans

While it's true this is just a conceptual design piece and not an actual product, the underpinning idea is flawed. We don't love, cherish, and try to legally marry our phones because of our ability to fondle them. We worship the plastic rectangle because it provides us with a second brain full of limitless entertainment. We especially get off on watching the slow-moving train-wreck of humanity as it embarrasses itself. Do you want to see people have meltdowns? Well, now you don't have to wait until your coworkers discover the bullion cubes you stuck in the coffee machine. You can hop on Twitter and watch a beautiful ballet of outrage.

The designer of these Nicorette Patch phones likens his work to quitting a pipe habit by replacing it with a hunk of useless wood. The idea is that the phony pipe and phony phones will interrupt your normal habits. But that's underestimating the sheer willpower we have to be self destructive. Cheese makes my stomach feel like it's putting itself in a chokehold, and I go to extraordinary lengths to eat it. You can't fool me with a fake phone intended to free my mind of an electronic prison. I like my prison, and I'm going to stay in here until I Tweet myself into a coma.

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