The jig is up: Reynolds knows we're all going to be absolutely baked this Thanksgiving. To be fair, the current political atmosphere would make family gatherings completely intolerable without a bit of the ol' sticky icky.
The only people to whom a Cheetos-encrusted turkey looks appetizing are blazed out of their damn minds. Sure, at first glance a powdery orange turkey is repulsive. But imagine how that sucker is going to look after a couple of phat roaches. And honestly, this recipe exhibits far more restraint than my weed turkey, which is as follows:
The Goldin Family Dank Turkey
- 1 Turkey (dead)
- 3-4 packages of butter
- 1 box Fruity Pebbles
- 1 "family sized" bag Fritos
- 1 packet of vintage Dunkaroos
- 1 Lunchable (tossed)
- 1 10 oz package "Bacon, Egg, & Cheese" Combos
- 2 cups "Fuego" Takis dust
- Set oven to 420 degrees (hhhehehehe)
- Take a long choof on that bowl
- Set oven to 420 degrees (wait, you did that already)
- Thaw turkey
- Mix butter, Fruity Pebbles, Fritos, Dunkaroos, Rosemary, Lunchable, Combos, and Takis dust in a food processor. Blend into indistinguishable crumbs.
- Jam the stuffing up that dead turkey hole
- Wait, is this a butt? Am I putting my hand in a turkey butt?
- Heheh, 420 degrees
- Warm butter in your hands while you watch Ernest Saves Christmas twice
- Massage butter onto turkey like a tender lover
- Place turkey into oven
- Where's the baby? WE DIDN'T HAVE A TURKEY
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Sometimes the stories after the stories are even stranger.
For as much as people love them, the 'Star Wars' movies have gotten rather awkward from time to time.
Bawitdaba, pass the green beans.
Going for that 16th minute.