Set Your Ovens To 420: There's A Cheetos Turkey Recipe

The jig is up: Reynolds knows we're all going to be absolutely baked this Thanksgiving. To be fair, the current political atmosphere would make family gatherings completely intolerable without a bit of the ol' sticky icky.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

The only people to whom a Cheetos-encrusted turkey looks appetizing are blazed out of their damn minds. Sure, at first glance a powdery orange turkey is repulsive. But imagine how that sucker is going to look after a couple of phat roaches. And honestly, this recipe exhibits far more restraint than my weed turkey, which is as follows:

The Goldin Family Dank Turkey

Ingredients:

- 1 Turkey (dead)

- 3-4 packages of butter

- 1 box Fruity Pebbles

- 1 "family sized" bag Fritos

- 1 packet of vintage Dunkaroos

- Rosemary

- 1 Lunchable (tossed)

- 1 10 oz package "Bacon, Egg, & Cheese" Combos

- 2 cups "Fuego" Takis dust

Directions:

- Set oven to 420 degrees (hhhehehehe)

- Take a long choof on that bowl

- Set oven to 420 degrees (wait, you did that already)

- Thaw turkey

- Mix butter, Fruity Pebbles, Fritos, Dunkaroos, Rosemary, Lunchable, Combos, and Takis dust in a food processor. Blend into indistinguishable crumbs.

- Jam the stuffing up that dead turkey hole

- Wait, is this a butt? Am I putting my hand in a turkey butt?

- Heheh, 420 degrees

- Warm butter in your hands while you watch Ernest Saves Christmas twice

- Massage butter onto turkey like a tender lover

- Place turkey into oven

- Where's the baby? WE DIDN'T HAVE A TURKEY

For more check out What Stupid News About Millennials Is There Now? (11/12/2017) and What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (11/12/2017).

Subscribe to our YouTube channel and check out Weird How Everyone President Donald Trump Knows Does Crimes - Some News, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!

Also follow our Pictofacts Facebook page. You won't regret it.

To turn on reply notifications, click here

13 Comments

Load Comments

More Articles

6 Stories That Prove Instagram Influencers Are The Worst

Instagram influencers are often absurd.

166

7 Viral Stories That Had Twists Nobody Remembers

If you follow up on these flash-in-the-pan headlines, you might find some information that changes the tone of the story.

139

5 Scary Stories That Sound Made Up (That Really Happened)

A good horror story is hard to pull off.

130

5 Behind-The-Scenes Shots That Take The Glamour Out Of Ads

All commercials are a least a little weird.

44

5 World-Changing News Stories (That Were Total BS)

Here are some recent

88

5 Movie Characters Who Tried To Look Tough (And Failed Hard)

These actions stars were so bad at being badass, they were just ass.

90