The jig is up: Reynolds knows we're all going to be absolutely baked this Thanksgiving. To be fair, the current political atmosphere would make family gatherings completely intolerable without a bit of the ol' sticky icky.
The only people to whom a Cheetos-encrusted turkey looks appetizing are blazed out of their damn minds. Sure, at first glance a powdery orange turkey is repulsive. But imagine how that sucker is going to look after a couple of phat roaches. And honestly, this recipe exhibits far more restraint than my weed turkey, which is as follows:
The Goldin Family Dank Turkey
- 1 Turkey (dead)
- 3-4 packages of butter
- 1 box Fruity Pebbles
- 1 "family sized" bag Fritos
- 1 packet of vintage Dunkaroos
- 1 Lunchable (tossed)
- 1 10 oz package "Bacon, Egg, & Cheese" Combos
- 2 cups "Fuego" Takis dust
- Set oven to 420 degrees (hhhehehehe)
- Take a long choof on that bowl
- Set oven to 420 degrees (wait, you did that already)
- Thaw turkey
- Mix butter, Fruity Pebbles, Fritos, Dunkaroos, Rosemary, Lunchable, Combos, and Takis dust in a food processor. Blend into indistinguishable crumbs.
- Jam the stuffing up that dead turkey hole
- Wait, is this a butt? Am I putting my hand in a turkey butt?
- Heheh, 420 degrees
- Warm butter in your hands while you watch Ernest Saves Christmas twice
- Massage butter onto turkey like a tender lover
- Place turkey into oven
- Where's the baby? WE DIDN'T HAVE A TURKEY
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