You know what really triggers liberals? When you destroy your own expensive property. That is, according to #BoycottKeurig proponents. "Liberals are offended by this video of a Keurig being thrown off of a building. Please retweet to offend a Liberal," states one such pro-Hannity activist. And you know what? He's absolutely right.
If you want to teach liberals a lesson (for being disgusted by a sympathetic interview with an alleged child molester) it's time to smash your own property with a baseball bat. First of all, liberals will be intimidated by your mature way of expressing your opinion. When they watch you smashing your coffee machine to bits while laughing like a toddler hyped up on juice boxes, they'll quickly realize they're dealing with an intellectual powerhouse.
Liberals, being touchy-feely-tree-hugging-emotion-commies, have an irrational attachment to your personal items. Especially expensive ones. Watching a video of you smashing your stuff is like kryptonite to liberals. "Why are you assaulting that innocent coffee machine!?" they shriek, fainting from the shock of seeing an innocent Keurig hit the pavement. But why stop at coffee machines? Take a powerful magnet to your hard drive. Throw a brick into your washing machine. Squeeze a tube of petroleum jelly onto your keyboard. Tie your Roomba to a chair, and dance to the sound of "Stuck in the Middle with You" as you take a ball peen hammer to it. Take a video. Post it online for us to see. You know. To trigger the liberals.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel and check out Weird How Everyone President Donald Trump Knows Does Crimes - Some News, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also follow our Pictofacts Facebook page. You won't regret it.
Recommended For Your Pleasure
You don't make astonishing amounts of money without ending up a jerk in some way.
- By Adam Wears
- June 11, 2019
Criminal behavior can be influenced by some very weird, seemingly random factors.
- By Diego C.
- June 05, 2019
Even our most popular forms of entertainment can treat their employees like absolute trash.
- By Adam Wears
- June 10, 2019
The news spent weeks reporting on these giant scandals without bothering to mention the stupidest parts.
- By Mark Hill
- June 06, 2019
Even Hollywood couldn't deny these films were total thievery.
- By Tony Alpsen
- June 04, 2019