This brings up so many questions. Where did he get the gun? Did the Wizard give it to him? Was the Scarecrow secretly carrying a gun the whole time? It also implies that Dorothy and the gang's plan was to go shoot the Wicked Witch in the freaking head. So maybe Dorothy shouldn't act so innocent about "accidentally" spilling the lethal bucket of water on the Witch, when clearly they had a much worse fate in mind.
There's Evidence That Indiana Jones Is Sleeping With His Students
Kids today probably know Indiana Jones as the cranky senior who famously mall-walked his way through a flying saucer, but for a whole generation, he was one of the coolest action heroes out there -- certainly the coolest who was also a professor. Still, there's always been something off about Indy. We've talked in the past about how George Lucas thought it would be funny to make him a child molester, no doubt leading to the inevitable '90s Special Editions in which CGI monsters would have obscured any mentions of Indy's crimes.
While that gross storyline was merely hypothetical, we've also mentioned how early versions of the script showed Indy's boss, Dr. Marcus Brody, catching Indy boning students in his office. He then looks the other way, because why sever your connection for acquiring rare (albeit bloodstained) antiquities?
Well, it turns out that there's still evidence of this inappropriate storyline in the movie. After Marcus makes a deal with the government for Indy to take a Nazi-battling sabbatical, he shows up at Dr. Jones' house. For some reason, Indy is dressed like Hugh Hefner, even though Marcus is still wearing his work clothes. He offers Marcus a glass of champagne, and toasts their search for God's face-melting voodoo box.
LucasfilmFun game: Try to count how many objects in this room can be used as sex toys.
What's weird is that Indy doesn't open the champagne for Marcus. He grabs a bottle that's bizarrely open already. What's even more suspicious is the fact there are two glasses out, one of which has champagne in it.
Lucasfilm"Don't worry, there's almost no roofie left in there."
Coupled with the fact that Indy answers the door in an un-cinched robe, the picture becomes clear: He just had sex. And the only female characters we've seen him interact with at all are his students ... who, you might have noticed, are super into him.
The thing with the glasses and the champagne was seemingly left over from that creepy earlier script. Long after Marcus catches Indy with his student, "Susan," he arrives at Dr. Sleazeball's house and the girl is there again, "tidying things up" in the living room. Suggesting that yes, they boinked on a pile of dusty textbooks.
So in a way, all the movie did was remove the part where Susan's still there. Indy's robe and half-drank champagne suggest what we should have known all along: For Dr. Jones, there's always time for love.
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Go rewatch all the Indiana Jones movies and tell us you wouldn't have at least thought about boinking Professor Jones.
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