A MYSTERIOUS WOODEN WIENER HAS POPPED UP IN THE AUSTRIAN ALPS. Nobody has taken credit for building the phallus, but it was large and heavy and someon

I know what you're thinking: dick aliens. I entertained that idea briefly, but realized that if this was the mark of a species of wiener-shaped aliens, it would have already been confiscated by government spooks. No, this was the work of a human. An indomitably determined one. Imagine the effort that went into this dong. First, they lovingly carved a piece of timber into the shape of a circumcised johnson.

Once sanded down and polished to a smooth finish, the wiener was lugged up to the over 6,000 foot high peak. This was no light, easy-to-transport weenie. It was a huge donger, one that appears to be about 4 feet high, and made of solid wood. It must weigh at least 80 lbs.

The ardent Disciple of the Penis who chose to carry this up into the alps had quite a hard task. I imagine they must have had it slung over their shoulder, like Christ carrying the cross, as they dutifully ascended to a peak high enough to be a worthy platform for the majestic statue. And there it stands, triumphant, and with an erection that has definitely lasted more than 4 hours. Someone should call a doctor.

For more check out What's Good OR BAD For You Now? (11/04/2017) and What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (11/04/2017).

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