So what would the Avengers do? Well, we're told that Captain America would pursue justice no matter where it leads, as the camera pans around to reveal that our hero is soliloquizing it up in the middle of a pocket dimension made mostly of posters.
ABC“For the theater lobby set, I’m thinking ‘Barely lit storage room haphazardly littered with ads.’”
Then a Hot Doctor shows up with a kid, because they're there for a super special advanced screening! "The Avengers rock!" declares the child, who's far too young to understand that he's sold his soul. Then the trio talk about the Avengers for a bit. Which one is the coolest? They debate, and arrive at a twist conclusion: They all are. Did you know that "Iron Man is the genius billionaire playboy, he gets to wear that really cool high-tech suit, fly around, save the world, and when he's not doing that he's going to the coolest parties and exotic locales"? General Hospital was one cut line of dialogue away from telling everyone Tony Stark's blood type.
The Nerd then accuses Hot Doctor's brother of committing a murder but forgetting it because he blacked out, a situation he argues is plausible by citing Bruce Banner. This segues into a serious conversation about the crime. Go see The Avengers, the perfect movie for hashing out your inner demons and dark secrets while waiting around in the lobby! Then, after that Real Talk, it's time to attend the screening so advanced that there are like five people there. Way to make the movie look popular, General Hospital!
ABCSo what would the Avengers do? Probably regret this cross-promotion.
Mr. Nerd hangs around outside for a bit and realizes that, gasp, Hot Doctor's brother might not be the murderer ... it could be an amnesiac Hot Doctor himself! He announces this to the movie poster, his only apparent friend. Then we cut to after the film, when Nerd tells Hot Doctor that he really enjoyed the movie, plans to see it a second time, and that he's been "inspired by the Avenger's good example to right a great wrong." Presumably if he hadn't seen The Avengers, he would have let the murder go unsolved. This nearly seven-minute scene didn't sell a single additional movie ticket, but it did ensure that a few disappointed grandchildren got a PlayStation 2 Batman game for Christmas.
Mark is on Twitter and, thanks to a promotional deal with Marvel, has a book.
On the off chance you don't have enough time to spend on all the Marvel movies, here's a handy Marvel Encyclopedia to keep you on track.
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